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Currently Browsing: Midlife Motherhood

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

My sister lives in Rhode Island and purchased a house with extra rooms five years ago with the intention of having us come visit. But until this year, we hadn’t. My daughter was too small and then there were Summer camps. We didn’t have the right vehicle and then she just came and visit us instead.

But we just returned from our Summer vacation to RI.

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

All my daughter wanted to do was swim in the pool. I ended up spending all my time with her there. And we ate out a lot. I just needed to decide what I wanted to eat. So not a lot of dishes. And not a lot more than just being and playing together. Because that is what visiting people is all about and something I want to do a lot more of.

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

There’s a lot to be said for shaking the etch-a-sketch and leaving your house for a couple days. It’s refreshing to return to the comfort of your home where you know where everything is. But you’re not overwhelmed by everything you have to do immediately. That’s how I eventually end up but for now, I’m holding onto the high of the absence.

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

To complicate things prior to our departure, our new little cat had an injured eye and I was scheduling an eye operation for her for when we returned. (That was today.) That made me nervous as did all the warnings for Covid travel from State to State. My husband said, don’t worry, be happy. And so I spent the time leading to our departure focused on leaving in a timely intentional way. We got there in less than 7 hours and now we know what it takes to visit. My sister was a lovely hostess and her house is amazing. Cozy and the most comfortable bed ever!

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

Absence Makes Your Heart Grow Fonder on Shalavee.com

Enjoy the pictures and stay tuned for my upcoming Blogaversary Post.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I Refuse to Feel Ashamed

It wouldn’t be shocking to say that shame is one of the most damaging emotions we can feel. Feeling badly about ourselves shuts us off from the world. We are isolated and silent and of no threat or use to our world. The moments that I remember shame the most are when someone has said something to me intending to cause me shame. Now when I think of them, I just feel mad and a little remorseful that I didn’t have a shame filter installed earlier.

As this pandemic has evolved through our year, I have become aware that there are many opinions on what choices we should and shouldn’t make when it comes to the public health and our private health. And these sticky areas are fraught with shame pot holes. People having guests over to their house when the government said it was verboten. Scolding words of shame were thrown about.

Now as things are lifting, we are still wearing our masks into the world, but our homes and choices on who will visit or have visit us is strictly our business. Provided we also give people disclaimers of our unmasked events. Perhaps it’s a little like telling your lover who you’ve had unprotected sex with. But unless we can test ourselves in front of one another, we have to be resigned to mistrusting each other. It’s nothing personal.I Refuse to Feel Ashamed on Shalavee.com

So be it ! But I can say this much, I will not be ashamed for allowing my daughter to have a play date. The little girl who was trapped at home without her friends was beginning to suffer from depression. I felt it would be cruel to keep her quarantined any more. That was my choice as her parent. The mother rule has always been to warn other mothers if your child has been sick. I will offer all mothers the information that we’ve had unmasked play dates and let them know I won’t be mad if they choose to say no.

But I will refuse to feel ashamed if my choice for my family doesn’t fit with your needs and choices for yours. And that goes for everything beyond this Covid-19 pandemic. Because as mothers and managers, we retain the right to make bad decisions as well as good ones. But they are our decisions to make.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Enrolled and Sharing the Creative Doer Course from Anna Lovind

I am currently enrolled in the Creative Doer course constructed by Anna Lovind to find clarity on the creative project we have been dreaming of doing and the freedom, clarity, and inspiration to proceed. I knew this would be what I needed because her Creative Doer book was one of the most amazing reads, outside of Big Magic, I’ve ever read on the subject of Creativity. Anna’s been with me for over five years supporting me in my creativity journey.

In the beginning of my creative journey, I was desperate for wisdom and a plan. I grabbed tidbits and paid for courses on fear and branding and finding how my soul ticked. I was a black hole of need. And each scrap I threw at the hole burned up before it made a difference. Because what I was really looking for was freedom from the bondage of my low self-esteem and that would be an inside job.Enrolled and Sharing the Creative Doer Course from Anna Lovind on Shalavee.com

I attended therapy sessions and forced myself to show up online in social media circles with like-minded people. And this is where I started to shift. I was not the only one who was experiencing the death gripping fear of creativity. I was joined by women and men all over the world of all ages and I felt better. And one of these people was Anna.

She has continued to influence and impress me in the last five years. Anna Lovind is a Swedish author and revolutionary. She is a creative sister, a trauma victim, and the truest soul you will ever meet.

I wrote blog post upon blog post about what I was learning and how I was growing, or how I wished I could grow. I stayed present and truthful. As my circle grew, I found I had courage to reach out to this remarkable women.

In this Q & A blog post, I queried her on the balance of being a creative and a mother. I called her a “necessary resource”. Creative mothers need extra support.

In this blog post titled The Seesaw of Being a Creative Parent, I include all the Q and A’s I did on being a creative mama.

In this blog post titled Permission to Be a Changed You, I found inspiration in her words,

I am the person who is allowed to change. I don’t owe anyone consistency. I don’t need to be faithful to what I used to be (unless I want to).”

We all must find those people who we admire and trust to follow out of our depths. Anna is so fiercely devoted to her work and to her children that she allows me to know I am too.Enrolled and Sharing the Creative Doer Course from Anna Lovind on Shalavee.com

If you are at all interested, go join her via this link for a live question about he online Creative Doer course I am currently enrolled in. It’s a go at your own pace completely supported course in getting clear about who and what you are in need of doing as a creative. Tell her I sent you.

Love,

Shalagh

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

This Joy Today is All I’ve Got

Only gratitude brings true joy. An understanding that I am worth this feeling, entitled by my humanity to feel it.

This Joy Today is All I've Got on Shalavee.com

Between joy and happiness, I choose joy.

This Joy Today is All I've Got on Shalavee.com

This Joy Today is All I've Got on Shalavee.com

The Psychologies magazine says, Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events.”

This Joy Today is All I've Got on Shalavee.com

I can feel joy and be unhappy. I see the bigger picture.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Family Pandemic Status Update

So much has happened over the last three months. Frightened and confused into submission to stay safe and be good citizens, we found ways to entertain ourselves. We played Uno until Fiona wanted to cry every time she lost. We had Room day and a date night in the garage. We’ve had lovely walks in the woods. We ate meal after meal together.

A Family Pandemic Status Update on Shalavee.com

 

Fiona began playing the piano, climbing tress, and learned how to ride her bike. And like every other kid that had never been home schooled, she gave me grief every time she needed to do homework. We adopted a new cat from the woods to be Fiona’s special friend. We named her Sass.

A Family Pandemic Status Update on Shalavee.com

A Family Pandemic Status Update on Shalavee.com

Eamon found new creative ways to annoy us with his stubborn teenageness. Constant struggle over his obsession with his techno devices. Staying up late talking to his girlfriend. The boy is missing all of his musical outlets and his bored out of his gourd. Except for the one chance he had to play at the Farmer’s Market. He is composing music though. And may finish reading a book. They’re both learning sign language from a close friend.

A Family Pandemic Status Update on Shalavee.com

My husband Mark lost all of his work and applied and received for Federal aid for his business. And somehow was able to enjoy his time off from his constant overwhelm. He refers to it as his temporary retirement. He’s been busy gardening and working on our Studio/Garage space feverishly. He learned how to edit video for our fellowships sermons. And started back with bike riding and golf.

A Family Pandemic Status Update on Shalavee.com

A Family Pandemic Status Update on Shalavee.com

I tried to stay strong for my kids but went a little batty having no any alone time to myself. I only got out for walks and grocery shopping for a long time. I’ve been forced to quit my allergy shots. And of course, still sneezing and dripping since March. I’ve continuously created art daily for 66 days. And struggling with the blog’s revamp but am keeping up with my writing in bigger exciting ways. I continue to value creativity for it’s own sake. It substantiates me, lets me feel like I’m acquainting myself with parts of me I’ve yet to know. And that is a wonderful feeling.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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