I am about to chew through my third journal since the beginning of the year. Apparently, I can write a lot. Writing in my journal is how I figure out where I am, what’s important to me, and where I want to head. I have kept my writing parameters loose from the New Year through now, not over-structuring my writing efforts while I just listened to the chatter in my head.
And this is what I’m hearing.
I am dancing with my writing again in the larger future kinds of ways. Hearing my voice tell the stories that I’m living now. Knowing that they are pertinent to me a lot of others as well at this time in life. Wealth care, healthcare, and hormones, remember from this post?
Release
What is it that I want to Release?
I have sworn to myself that anything, any thoughts, any stories I’m still telling that have shades of Shame in them will be brought into the light and worked through. No more keeping quiet for me. In fact, I feel pretty mouthy about several of those topics. The topics of money, aging and sexuality, or a parent who hoards. I am going into the dark depths of all the “Good Luck with that” stuff.
Increase
What I intention to and have already started to Increase are the requests for support and help, especially in changing some of the shame games from above. I’ve asked for and hired help on my blog. I’ve joined a program to manage my money. I’m thinking about how I can produce more of what people want and ask for their eyes on it.
I want to Increase my confidence and self-esteem so that I can ask for people to follow me and subscribe to me without it being awkward.
But mostly, I want to increase my dreaming to allow and increase the bigger possibilities. I want to be a honey-maker, a home and a money maker. Bringing beautiful unbearable satisfying sweetness to myself, my family, and my community. And I want to increase the odds that I get to be authentic in doing the things I like to do. And to get paid for it.
Embrace
In this, my only life going forward, I intend to embrace human connections, making money, indulgence, and daily routine. After the asking, if I then truly embrace others’ support of me and don’t run away from their support, I can stop hibernating and allow people to not only like me but support me and my efforts by the exchange of money.
Where once I didn’t feel like I could treat myself, now I’m not too far away from embracing the indulgences and the celebrations especially when I’ve done the work.
But my truest embrace needs to be around my daily routines, the structure and boundaries that I crave to excel within around the daily creativity for the 100 Day project and the writing.
With so much gratitude, I’m trying to find the best way to navigate the life that I have built myself into. And lead me on to a better one with some exciting inspiring chapters yet to come. I am glad to have you with me as I enter into this next chapter of my life.
Love Ya’,
Shalagh
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