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Currently Browsing: Midlife Motherhood

Raising Children with an Abundant Mindset

You see the world with what you carry in your heart.”

People who were raised on love see the world differently than those who see the world from survival.”

It has occurred to me that I was raised with a crushing sense of scarcity. A historical hangover from generations of struggle, oppression, and depression. I believed that I would never have enough and that I was not enough. And this is still a mindset I battle daily.

But I felt relieved recently knowing that I am not raising my children with this same scarcity mindset. They have enough. Ask them and maybe they think there’s something else they might want but we have been fortunate enough to create a life where we aren’t prisoners to debt.Raising Children with an Abundant Mindset on Shalavee.com

There was an old movie I watched a long time ago called I Remember Mama. An Norwegian immigrant mother Marta, played by Irene Dunne with the fantastic braid around her head, raises a flock of family. And she keeps telling them life’s not bad enough to dip into the savings (stored in the chimney in a box). So they persevere always sure that old Mama had their backs. When she dies, they discover there’s nothing in the box. Their belief in their positive outcome got them through. And in including cats as characters on movie posters.

I know that, as the mother, I am always setting the positive tone and the hope in the household. I take pride in that and I hold steady the boat in times when it begins to rock. I want my children to feel safe and know that the world will help them when they need it. Because it will if they believe it will. They’ll create that outcome from their belief. 

And perhaps their children will see only the beauty of the world no matter how many times the news points out the ugly. And their love will lift the world up even further through their own positive intentional parenting.

Look at the world with a vision of peace, love, and compassion. Then the whole world will appear loving and peaceful.”

 

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Chosen and Unchosen Changes

I’ve noticed how I feel differently about my life as we pass the one year anniversary of the beginning of the pandemic of 2020. I feel a lot calmer. How did that happen? Because changes happened, both by choice and by time.

I found myself saying no to a string of requests for my time recently. While I made this choice to say no, it has been the time I have spent not doing much of what I used to do that showed me that this is the way I really want to live. I don’t want to rush around anymore feeling overwhelmed with obligations and appointments.

I realized today that, whereas I freaked out when all these people (my family), usually gone during the weekdays, were suddenly in my house in my way demanding stuff of me, I now don’t mind them as much. I have begun to say no more to them too. I can create boundaries enough to have time to myself and sometimes they even leave! Twice last week I noticed we were all in the same room at the same time by choice!

And I finally got so sick of being sick of my body that I have now returned to the YMCA three times a week for exercise classes. I’ve missed the camaraderie in those classes. This feels like normal again. And I’d say we’ve all earned a little normal back.

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to view my daily pictures,

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I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

I Have a Hard Time Believing

I have a hard time believing. Raised by anxious agnostics with low self-esteem and a Depression mindset of scarcity who betrayed me, I have a hard time believing.

In January, I started a dietary and awareness adjustment program called Noom. It’s a great program because it comes from a psychological perspective, which I love. The first question they ask and want you to answer “yes” to is, “Do you believe you can lose this weight?”. When I read that question last November, I knew I would change nothing during the holidays.

But in January, I returned to Noom and said that “I believed”. Skip forward to two months later and I haven’t lost a significant amount of weight. I haven’t gained any weight either. With the fluctuations in my weight due to my redundant colon, my body is irregular. And I keep remembering what they say about women’s metabolism in their 50s. Slow and slower and slothlike.

But I also know that quitting never yielded positive results except with my first marriage. So I have to sit with my discomfort around not believing in myself. I have to keep logging my food and keep exercising and yes, keep stepping on the scale.

I have a hard time believing that all my hard work will make a difference in many applications. That much of what I say or write is of no interest to others. That no matter how hard I try, my kids are gonna end up with some sort of addiction problem. That I’ll never live debt-free. But I have no choice but to keep going. And do so joyfully.

Because the one thing I do believe in is Joyful living. And Creative Soul Living.

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

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I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

 

Change Nothing and Nothing Changes

What did you choose to do this morning. Your morning routing, is it set as something you just do without thinking? Do you like it or do you sometimes wish there was change. What about your evenings? Are you a person who stays up or sleeps? Do you eat crap at nighttime and wish you didn’t? Do you intentionally talk to loved ones, exercise, drink water, or read daily?

How much of what each of us does is rote habit? Wasn’t a habit once a choice that you repeated? And if this is true, what could you change in your life that would make the biggest difference? Why are you not asking yourself these questions? Why aren’t you allowed to change your choices?

I am in the process of challenging and changing some choices that I’ve been making. Choices about what I do with my body, put into my body, and commit my time to. In order for these choices to stick and be sustainable, I need to be slow, steady, and intentional about introducing them. And I also need places and people to be accountable to like groups and coaches.

They say any day, any moment is a good one to start over. I agree.

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living? Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

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I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What Do You Do All Day Mommy?

She asked me this question when we were waiting in the car rider drop-off line at school. What do I do all day? I told her that I was going to exercise and that when I get home I have to do household chores and writing. And then come back and pick her up at 2:30. That’s 5 ½ hours to do as much as I can. She said that sounded like a lot, bless her heart.

Because my work does not compensate me, it may seem less worthy than someone earning a paycheck in a “real” job. But what I can tell you is that you couldn’t pay me enough for the work I do. The abuse I take from that same near 8 year-old exhausts me. Hauling laundry, cat litter, and recycling up and down stairs isn’t very glamorous. I went into uncompensated waste management.

It saddens me that we stay at home Moms are still looking at ourselves as “less than”people. As if what we do is a default job because we weren’t good enough for anything else. But this is a very patriarchal view because this job is the backbone of every country. I’d say men pee their pants if they experienced the distress we are under to which they often add to with their own needs. Unless these same men didn’t want or help to create those children, we’re in it 50/50 for keeping them safe and cared for. Money earning isn’t the most important job.

It saddens me even more that women would be so quick to disregard themselves and not ask for the respect and honor for this job of keeping the seams of the country stitched together. The future of our country is the toddler in diapers and the angry teen. Refusing to acknowledge that families need special care and love dooms our next generation to their entitled anger for emotional abandonment. I will fight with and for my children by showing up for them until they can fly by themselves. And I’ll ask for their respect in return.

Interested in reading my future ponderings on Creative Soul Living? Subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to see my daily pictures,

friend me or like my page on Facebook.

Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too.

I am a community kinda person and am always practicing Intentional Intouchness.

I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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