Yes, today is my birthday and I’m turning 56 years old. As a mother to a 9-year-old and a 17-year-old, I cannot call myself old exactly. But I feel every bit of the time spent and wisdom gained I have lived to have earned this. As it should be.

Since my last birthday, much has happened. The blog revamp was finished. And although I didn’t stop writing on the blog, the changeover of my anxiety medication threw a huge wrench in my progress which I’m only just now truly recovered from.

I started my 28 Days Come What May project in April, and I have finally been able to lose the 15 pounds I gained on my previous medication. What a relief to find out it wasn’t “just me” as I’d been telling myself.

The realization that I wasn’t so very flawed and undeserving, and the weight loss were my gifts to myself for this birthday.

Yes, It's My Birthday on Shalavee.comBetter Bigger Visibility

I discovered September’s life lesson would be about visibility when I signed up for a free week of questions from Susannah Conway to feel into my “work” priorities. Reviewing my wants pertaining to my blog, I realized that my lack of visibility was playing a huge part in me holding me back.

Everything I think I want seems to hinge on me showing my face, speaking up, and asking for something.

Is this realization as familiar for you as it was for me? To get what we want, sometimes we must step out of the line and publicly ask for what we need.

I envision the scene from Oliver Twist where he’s asked for more gruel in the orphanage. You want MOoooooRe?!

Yes, It's My Birthday on Shalavee.comNo Neediness Allowed

There’s an understood rule in life that we mustn’t be Needy, and we mustn’t be Visible. These are two absolute givens to stay safe. The state of Safety contains absolutely no risks, and my fear would like me to stay camped in Safety Park, thank you very much. No off-roading into Needytown.

Ironically, most of what I write on my blog is often very vulnerable. I’ve dodged my visibility by not asking too much from my audience, or even asking for an audience at all. I’m somehow safe then. I place my vulnerability into my blog posts and then I run away from it.

As I keep mentioning, like in my last newsletter, I find I crave much more communication and interaction with a like-minded community than I have been giving myself. I need to ask people to read my words as well as ensure that these words find the One that needs to hear them.

And this requires visibility. And perhaps some bravery.

Too many times in the past, my fear has taken over the Shalagh Show and caused me confusion, lost focus, forgotten goals, and inevitably, my invisibility.

Fear won’t allow me to ask people to do anything

for me including seeing me.

Screw Fear.

I am committing to this shift here and now. There’s a Newsletter coming soon. So, make sure you are subscribed via the sign up in the sidebar. In the future, there’s going to be more actual pictures of me as well as videos and audio.

Starting with this post, I will now be posting my blog posts on Fridays. There may be additional posts in between if I feel like it. And my Newsletter will be coming out to you on a Tuesday soon.

Until then, a very Merry Unbirthday to us, to us!


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  1. Love your discoveries. It’s so very true and then everything is so connected and intertwined.
    I believe, that firstly, everything we do must be done because we feel like doing it, because it makes our heart and soul happy. Everything good that goes beyond this happens because of it
    All the best with everything!
    And happy birthday again 💖

    • Oh Nina,
      I just saw this! Yes, there’s a serendipity that we find when we give over to the process. And happiness is a good goal always.
      Thank you so much for being here.

  2. A very, very happy birthday to you dear friend and thank you always for modeling visibility and vulnerability. As another midlife mother know that your words are seen and appreciated ❤️

  3. Ah Andrea! Thank you so very much for this present of acknowledgement. And know that you too are appreciated and if there is ever a way I can see and be there for you, please let me know.

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