I embody many me’s on any given day. The person I chose to act on behalf of yesterday isn’t all the same as the one I will be working for today. Yesterday I was the grilled cheese coach and photographer for preteen girls who swear they don’t want to be teens.
I was the re-potter of future larger happier plants. I was the hamburger grill master for a party of six seated in my dining room. I was the lady at the end of the lawn enjoying the amazing post storm breezes at the edge of my domain.
I am an amalgamation of the roles I have chosen. According to the dictionary, I am a housewife, a married woman in charge of a household. I do proudly and deftly practice the art and mystery of housewifery. There is much more to this job than can be seen and this invisibility feels an invitation to be denigrated for doing nothing which couldn’t be further from the truth.
Women of my age rankle at the word housewife. It represents the lack of power and submissiveness that was the icon of 1950s housewives. We want more for ourselves and our daughters. I have dreamed of a better term for what I do at times. I am most definitely a homebody. I am a proud Mother. I am an unashamed caretaker. All of these I embody.
I used to joke that I was in waste management. Changing diapers, cat boxes, cleaning up cat puke, scraping dishes, composting, and taking out the trash are all a part of that job. But there’s so much more to my world.
My husband says I’m the facilities manager. That is more to the truth. I maintain the house and its occupants in all sorts of ways, both physical and mental. Keep it running smoothly as possible. Am now in the process of clearing out all the clutter that I have collected in the corners while I was busy doing all of the above.
But I also hold out my need to live my daily creativist lifestyle as a role I play for the benefit of myself and those I love. Every choice that I make is a chance to make a better more fun more positive prettier life. Creating a space and something from nothing is a gift of life magic that I don’t overlook.
Yes, I keep all manner of things clean and straight. Yes, I have everyone’s doctor, hair, eye, and teeth needs in my head. Yes, I know when it’s time to treat my cats for fleas. Yes, I’m quite aware there might be a dying cucumber in my vegetable drawer. That’s why we call it the “rotter”. And Yes, I am well aware that I can get overwhelmed easily if I put too much pressure on myself.
At home, I am absolutely a feminist when I stand up for myself against my family who can ask too much of me. I say No in the hopes that they will learn to do the same for themselves out in the world when the need arises. I ask to be respected. And I do not need societal approval to know that there is honor and integrity in the unseen work that I do daily to make 4 people and 4 cats lives lovely to live.
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