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Currently Browsing: Self-Discovery

Starting Over

Children are going away to college at this time of the year. I ponder how they’re being gifted a chance for starting over. They can be whomever they want to be in a whole new clean slated world at their new schools. Whereas everyone knows you in grade school and high school, you can recreate yourself in the new college setting.

It’s hard to see our opportunity to start over on a daily basis. We may have the feeling that we must concede to the choices we’ve already made. Ride out the stuck. But this is just our fear selling us on staying safe. 

We don’t have to move house or state of residence to make a change. Instead, we can declare our intentions instead to make new friends at a new job, exercise class, or book club. We can rearrange our living rooms, color our hair, or finally get that pedicure we’ve been putting off.Starting over on Shalavee.com

It just takes a slight amount of effort to plan a new choice and follow it through with the same earnest hope as those incoming freshmans, that this will be the start of a whole new life. All we have to is change our mindset and perhaps sit in a different place at our tables.

Any changes you’re planning to make in the upcoming season of Fall (or Spring) happens ?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What 2018 Taught Me

I felt like I was making great strides in growing myself last year, 2018. I was feeling more sure of what my creativity was giving me both personally and perhaps professionally. I offered up a Wholehearted Living piece to a writer friend’s blog. And I started to create my own theory on the inverse relationship of creativity and anxiety. I felt a rhythm was coming.

And then I suffered an anxiety setback that set me reeling. I abandoned my aspirations and hunkered down to ride out the storm. And I took myself to the doctor’s and asked for medicinal help. Because pain is your body telling you that it needs help.What 2018 Taught Me on Shalavee.com

Why had I waited so long, I asked the doctor. He said “Stigma”. I had made it my goal trying to prove that anxiety can be conquered by therapy and creativity. And I was admitting I was wrong. I felt defeated and yet, once I had the medication cooking, I felt the hope of perhaps finally moving from a stuck place. And 9 months later, I was right. I have grieved my ego loss and moved on to what was beyond. Possibilities don’t feel like burdens of tasks I’m unable to do but rather hopes for a fun future.

Last year taught me that you have to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. You have to ask for help and sometimes, give up and do something different. And you are the only one who can make the best decisions for you. Even if those decisions are hard to make. Because I think the hardest part of making a decision is making the decision. After that it’s just following through and seeing what happens next.What 2018 Taught Me on Shalavee.com

My wish for 2018 for myself was for perspective, safety, joy, inspiration, value, chances, strength, hope, and comfort. And “to live within my creative zone often enough to keep me joyful, true to myself, and to be able to appreciate this action and the interaction with my fellow people who know the truth of me.” I’d say that I fulfilled most of those intentions and then some last year. I feel creatively satiated and held by a growing community and I am trusting that I will take care of me in the coming years.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

She Said She Truly Loved Herself

It is an immense joy to talk with women in all sorts of places about their lives. I strike up conversations in stores or online about so many facets of living as a woman and a mother and I always come away feeling like we are searching for the same connection. Our future depends on this.

During a visit to my bank recently, I had a candid conversation with a lovely hard working mother of eight children. I spoke about liking myself. She said she not only liked herself, she truly loved herself, and I wondered what that was like.She said she truly loved herself on Shalavee.com

We all start in different places in our lives. Many of us are more disadvantaged than we realize in our beginning. And we have farther to grow to gain what other children are easily given. Self-love is one of those gifts.

I know it does our world and our children no good to be so hard on ourselves. The disrespect and judgment we show ourselves will only poison the next generation to do the same. The answer is always in love. That if we shower ourselves in love and compassion, our children will do the same.

This lovely bank lady? She’s showing all eight of those children how it is to treat a lady. She is proud and beautiful albeit slightly unsure of the problems her forties will bring her. I am staring down the barrel of 53 years and feeling frustrated that my body wants to spread out in my skin. I ask the nurses to please not tell me what my weight is, thank you.She said she truly loved herself on Shalavee.com

But Love myself? I think that is a darn good goal. In fact, I’d venture to say it’s the most important goal any of us can achieve that will ensure our happily ever afters. The lovely Mom at the bank has given me a goal to work on harder than any goal I’ve ever worked on. Self-Love.

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Creativity Couldn’t Cure Me

Back in November, I had what I’ve referred to as an emotional fallout. It was like an anxiety caused implosion which caused me a couple days of waiting and watching the grief I was experiencing. I consequently took myself to my doctor and asked for some anti-anxiety meds. While these were exactly what I’d needed for a very long time, this also caused me a new wave of grief for admitting to a failure to “fix” myself without them. Creativity couldn’t cure me.

I am a devoted self-development practitioner. I have been chasing a better more confident version of myself since my teens. I have peeled back layer upon layer in order to understand myself. And last year, I was devoted to developing a theory about how creativity can be used to battle and quell the anxiety monster.

Creativity Couldn't Cure Me on Shalavee.com

I wanted this to be the outright answer to all of it. I wanted Creativity to be my savior, my answer, my magic potion. I hosted creativity challenges and participated in them and every time, I felt my soul grow. So when the first anxiety episode happened after giving a speech on the inverse relationship of anxiety and creativity, and then again after I held a workshop on creativity, I was devastated. I was an impostor.

I grieved for what felt like giving up and giving in. I wasn’t so much worried about the stigma of taking the medication as much as I was worried my theory had lost it’s wind, it’s proof in me. Like saying yes to medication was disproving all that I had worked on. And I was also sad that I hadn’t made this choice so much earlier because the relief that it gave me was astounding. No more underlying anxiety buzz in my brain means that I can carry out and finish more wonderful creative projects.

Creativity Couldn't Cure Me on Shalavee.com

But now I think I am done grieving and I am moving into a less all or nothing zone and more of “whatever works” zone. I say do it all and keep doing whatever works. Happiness is all it’s cracked up to be and there will never be a disadvantage to being creative. It brings you joy when you permit yourself to give into it.

I’m not sure what my all or nothing attitude was supposed to get me. I can tell you that I am now engaging in another type of therapy called EMDR to dig specifically into why these episodes happened and how I can learn from them instead of feeling ashamed of them. And I am certain I won’t have another one again as long as I am on this medication.

Anxiety is a sucky way to live and your wellness plans are up to you. Yes you can tell stories about yourself but make sure that you are authoring them and that you work very hard to give them happy endings!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Making People Do Things

Anyone notice how hard it is to “make” people do things? You know, your mother/father/sister/brother/spouse/child/friend really needs to take care of themselves by exercising more/eating less/taking responsibility for their own stuff/ditching the toxic spouse and/or calling you up to hear your amazing wisdom more often!?

What we come to find out however, is that, just like toddlers, we all feel the need to figure it all out on our own. No one needs anyone’s well meaning advice, even if we do. It’s not that our well-meaning bad choice-making loved ones don’t value us, it’s just that they are stuck where they’re stuck until they’re not and there’s not a damn thing we can do for them but wait it out patiently.

Making People Do Things on Shalavee.com

Best advice ever given is to just lead by example. You keep to valuing your body-temple and staying aligned with your values and integrity and show the people you love what it looks like to treat yourself and your life with respect. You are the only difference you can make and the only thing you can control. And you and your loved ones will see that even if they’re too entwined in their self destruction to see it just now. It’s a matter of time.

The last clue is that when others’ lives are bugging us, it is often our way of distracting ourselves from our problems. And that in fact, the very thing that bugs you about anyone else is the one thing you may need to take care of in your life.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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