In this complete absence and void of “doing” I have been living in this Summer, I have been listening for truths to rise. I have since spent my time parenting and sitting back to listen to the truths that eventually come. Because they do come if you are patient and listen and write and think somewhat.
Funny how being quiet allows you to actually hear the sounds that are around you.
Stop and listen. There’s the air-conditioning switching on and the registers rattling.
Into the void, you can imagine some things. Like the sound of your heart being broken. Or that negative thought that keeps pestering you like a mosquito. But if you leave your own noise making off for a while, you can begin to hear the deeper truths that lay underneath the busyness.
When I became overwhelmed with the juggling of my anxiety medications and my unmet expectations, my brain went into lock down. I didn’t feel like anything I had to say or feel was real or reliable. Like when I experienced choking on a piece of bread when I was pregnant. My throat closed down to allow the littlest amount of airflow through while my brain assessed if there was any more danger. It was all autonomic. When the brain decided it was safe, my airway widened again.
This is what I have rediscovered.
My inner child needs to feel safe. This takes both self-care and self-discipline and a lot of playing and being outside. This is the job of the adult to provide.
The truth at any given moment is more story than actuality.
Who you think you are is a combination of what you think and what you think others think about you.
Living without hope is living as a prisoner of grief.
There’s no other way to go but forward.
And then I had a gift given to me that changed my perspective away from me and out into the world.
A respected person in my life told me that when she’s looking for inspiration, she looks to my words. To the authenticity and truths that I tell about myself. And I got tears in my eyes. This gift of perspective allowed me to see that I don’t always have to know it all or have the answers. It’s not the What but often just the How you are being you that counts.
I have been chasing an ideal that I needed to know it all before my words and opinion were valuable and worthy. Yet, this is not what people have told me repeatedly. They insist that my telling of my own truths has empowered them to do the same, not that I knew it all.
And this one tiny shift in perspective may perhaps be what I need to help me re-anchor myself into my life and my purpose again.
Undoubtedly, I’ll hit another patch of crisis of confidence. I always seem to somehow. But maybe the next time I can remember what I discovered this time and not believe my fears’ lies about my worthlessness. Maybe my wisdom will root itself a little deeper as I would hope would happen as I am headed towards my 56th birthday this September.
I hope that these words help you to discover some untold truth in yourself today.
You can drop a word below in the comments. Or you can…
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