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Now is When We Need Self-Compassion

Now is when we need self-compassion.But what if I told you that self-compassion equaled feeling sorry for yourself. Boom, you’d say no, I’m not allowed to do that. I need to suck it up, do the hard things here, and put on a good face for my family. I’d get it if you told me that. I’m living that myself. Mothers are supposed to be solid and dependable for their people.

But when both of my children found me this week to grieve on me, I knew that their feeling sorry for themselves was exactly what they needed to grieve and shed another layer of disappointment and disbelief at the loss of their lives. They are alive but not really living.Now is When We Need Self-Compassion on Shalavee.com

I had a very wise friend state, “I’ve learned when you miss something it triggers misses you’ve had from the past, and you feel them all again; I miss mom, and dad, pets, lives I’ve lived, dreams I’ve had, people I was.” Those are the moments when you get to release all that you’ve been sucking up. Because grief and unexpressed creativity can eat at you until your soul has rot spots.

I was walking the other day and was suddenly hit by a whiff of the perfume of clothing drying in a clothes dryer. I was immediately transported back to a time when I was very unhappily married. I was walking home in the cold from my job and was ambushed by the same “happy loving family” smell. Back then, I grieved for the life I wasn’t living. My recent smell experience reminded me that I am living a different life now that I cherish even if I am stuck inside with my family way more than I would like.Now is When We Need Self-Compassion on Shalavee.com

One day I may miss this situation. I may grieve when I think about how I had all the time in the world to stare into they children’s eyes and tell them how much they meant to me. I won’t miss the masks or being unable to hug my friends, but I will truly feel sorry for myself and all of us if we come out of this and we’ve not shifted into a better place as a society. If we don’t use this as a lesson of what we have and haven’t control over.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

What’s a Sunday Feel Like?

My son said he wanted the weekend to feel like a weekend. A Sunday to feel like a Sunday. Because when you’re home bound, the days can start to feel the same-ish.
So today, I made sure we didn’t wake him up. He had a “real breakfast” as in not cereal or frozen microwave breakfast sandwiches. And we didn’t give him too many chores.

I asked him if it felt like a Sunday. He said “yes”.


What is a Sunday supposed to feel like? I have always been a big supporter of special food and lots of luxury and doing what you feel like on Sundays. Wearing your jammies all day however becomes less special when you do it all week because you aren’t going anywhere anyway.What's a Sunday Feel Like? on Shalavee.com

I am Julie Your Cruise Director (The Love Boat ref.) and it’s my job to keep the fun alive aka direct. We had a fire-pit on Sunday night and today’s my son’s birthday so chocolate cake and take out sushi are our feast! This week my husband thought up Room Day where everyone picks a room and stays in it and if you have to pass through someone else’s room, you have to ask permission. Luckily we have enough neutral rooms and bathrooms to make this pretty easy. I can’t tell you how much I am craving alone time.

We’ll be doing a Asian night with homemade Chinese food (our local takeout is closed down) and perhaps watch a Kung Fu Panda or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon movie. A game night, a music jam, and a picnic are all shake it up options. Trick is to put it on the calendar so that everyone can look forward to it. Because we’ve got many more weeks to go and the only way to get through this and maintain our sanity is to adapt proactively.

Any other ideas, please share in the comments!

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

Clueless to Our Futures, Responsible For Our Nows

My near 15 year old is in the other room playing Scenes From an Italian Restaurant by Billy Joel, a song popular when I was 15 years old. And when I was a 15 year old, I really didn’t regard myself with much self-esteem and never could have foreseen being a mother to a gifted pianist.

We just don’t have a clue about what’s coming, do we? We can only do the next right thing; for ourselves, our children, and our community. We can choose choices we’re proud to have made alongside people we are proud to call our friends. Everything is an illusion.

We’re all kinda biding our time and treading water until our denied endings. But we can make the time in between mean more than spending and getting money. My life is me spinning all my wisdom into beautiful readable and view-able webs. And I don’t think there’s a nobler effort made anywhere than that of the artist expressing what it feels to be human.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Shaking Our Proclivity for Productivity

Whether it comes from a “Protestant Work Ethic”adopted by the Western world or the American Dream Seekers defining themselves through their Productivity, it’s still here and it’s exhausting and outdated. We’re at home against our will and still we can’t just BE.

I think there needs to be a time, a moment when you have been productive enough. Being helpless makes people want to be in control of things. For me that looks like doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking. Knowing that I have fulfilled all my care-taking duties to the best and most of my abilities.

And then there’s a point when I need to just be a human being, not a human doing.

I need to read a book. I need to do a home manicure on myself. I need to light a candle and write in my journal. Anything that feels like I am being me, with me, and for me. These are the things that may seem indulgent or selfish but will fill my tanks instead of deplete them more.

When have we been productive enough? Is experiencing burnout and breakdown worth that much productivity. Or can we cease the self-judgment and self-bullying just long enough to enjoy just being ourselves. Enjoy being a human being for 15 minutes everyday. That’s the healing I think we all need to gift ourselves with. What other choice do we truly have in light of the lack of busyness?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

We Need to Call it Physical Distance not Social Distance

The fact is, they’re not really sure how this Covid-19 virus is actually spreading. Obviously from person to person, but is it the breathing, sneezing, touching and transferring, or just plain smashing it into your face with your unwashed hands that’s spreading it ?

So maintaining physical distance would be helpful for a couple of these transference methods.

However, in a time when we can not get our physical needs met for handshaking or hugging from friends and neighbors, more than ever we need to be compensating with increased social interaction. We have denied this aspect of our humanity for too long and it’s feeling more like need than a want in these isolation days.we need to call it physical distancing not social on shalavee.com

We are not going to contract anything from someone standing six feet away making eye contact and smiling. That’s what we should be seeking to know that we are not alone. We should be sharing our stories, our senses of humor, and our grief with one another to confirm that we are not alone. We need to feel a part of a larger community to cope with our isolation better.

So if you find yourself out walking and someone is passing you, or you see your neighbor, take a moment to respectfully ask how they are, make eye contact, and make sure you ask their name. Be the mirror you wished others would be for you. Keep your distance but make it physical not social distance. I think we’ve had enough Social Distance to last a lifetime.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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