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Sumptuous Summer Time

I never sleep in. Until Summer. This Sunday morning, I was so languorous in bed, my ear hurt from laying on it. And after I rose and descended the stairs for my first cup of coffee, there were no children demanding things of me. Luxurious sumptuous Summer Time. Remembering my creative soul life.

Sumptuous Summer Time on Shalavee.com

I made a loving breakfast of last chance potatoes, mushrooms, eggs, and thyme from my porch garden. And now I sit listening to the Sleepy Hollow radio program on WXPN with my daughter arting on the floor with her markers coloring seascapes. My hand resting on a furry friend on the back of the couch, feet up on a stool, and the whoosh of cool air from the air vent keeping the tickle of sweat from blooming. Lukewarm coffee still in my cup as I make kind comments on Instagram.

Summer expands in the moment when you stop to feel it. Appreciation of where you are always makes everything feel shinier. Hope is worth the effort to stop and feel it.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Give Yourself a Place To Be Seen

I am such a human beast most of the time. I react without thinking and overthink situations without acting . I crave to be acknowledged and fear being seen. I spend more than enough time alone in my head. But what I do know is that we humans are naturally pack animals. And as women, we need the intimacy afforded us in these groups like we need water.

I’ve been inspired by many women in real life and online who have brought this need to my attention. Whether we were playing bridge or washing our clothing at the watering hole or hanging out in the bleeding hut together, we need the camaraderie and the connection that gathering gives us.

Give Yourself a Place To Be Seen on Shalavee.com

Being witnessed in your moment of feeling however you feel is a glorious feeling and needs to be something we give ourselves. We need to he heard and seen and acknowledged by others and by ourselves as well. The witnessing makes us whole in a way that nothing else can.

So I encourage you to find a way, or many ways, in which you are seen. For me that was through my blog and Instagram. It was by organizing a group of women I respected to meet-up in real life and say real things to one another. It has been to write from my authentic voice and publish it every week and allow people to read and feel what they want.

Many of us have been such harsh critics to ourselves for so long, we no longer recognize our isolation. I urge everyone to give themselves permission to share themselves with other people. Have real conversations and talk about ideas you are interested in. Surprise yourself by allowing connection and vulnerability and tell me what happens please.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Herstory of Unwanted Advances

What’s the official name for an uninvited unwanted advance? Those occasions when men have ungraciously invaded our personal spaces to “offer’ their manliness to us. Situations that put we women into a victim role warding off hands or words of a sexual aggressive nature? Yeah the incidents we’ve accepted as just part of womanhood.

I’ve had more than several of those. I just didn’t give the advances or my distaste for their memory any credence. But they’re still there lurking about testifying to a world that victimizes young women. The world where personal boundaries are optional.

There was that time when the well known local television anchorman cornered my twenty year old self in a dead end hallway of the under construction television station. I was a beautiful young intern. He was a lascivious veteran of trapping young beautiful interns.

There was the time when my great uncle tried to grope my teenage body in the local Missouri swimming hole. I think I told him to get his hands off me old man. That did the trick.

My Herstory of Unwanted Advances on Shalavee.com

There was the time my boyfriend’s father tried to give me a back massage, aka feel me up. I was 19 and upon telling my boyfriend this, he exclaimed there was no possible way his father could have done that since that man had almost become a priest.

There was the time that my ex-husband wanted to put his fingers in places I was uncomfortable with.

There was that time when I had split from that husband and my male co-worker wanted to offer his manly services to me if I ever felt lonely.

That’s probably enough to prove my unwanted advance track record? I have endured and stuffed these many occurrences, as many man women do, with the hope that my daughter will be savvier as well as live in a world less tolerant of this. In fact, I want to shout with my new loud voice, do this to my daughters and die. We never ask for the attention so why should I or she ever have to deal with it again? Although I also am reminded, I am never a victim unless I want to claim that title.

And I want to note my hope that our male partners will stand with us for these and so many more issues that separate us and diminish our power. Awareness is something we build together and a collective intolerance is change I support.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Hush Hush Voices Carry

I have always been a loud person. I got my boisterousness, my exuberance, and my volume honestly. My mother’s laugh is loud enough so that you can find her at a State Fair. I am a truth teller, a devotee to honesty and the catharsis of storytelling.

When I was a teen, I met many people who really wanted me to hush up, quiet down, tone it down, etc.. My loudness, my truthfulness made them nervous. And so I began to resent being Shushed. But I believe my honesty makes people the most nervous.

hush hush voices carry on shalavee.com

In a world where you have to strive to fit in, where you supposed to tell other people’s truths, truthfulness isn’t valued. Even though talk television is brimming with true tales of self-defeat by addiction and the tragic sadness of self-hatred, it seems that it is still something that people aren’t allowed to talk about in the real world. Over coffee or a cocktail. Especially not on a public platform like a blog!

But here I am people. I don’t think I knew where this blog would lead me or what I would get up to by writing it. But I bloomed because of it. And my wobbly self-esteem and racy admissions have proven to be the very thing that people secretly wanted to hear someone else saying so they knew they weren’t the only ones.

I am loud and proud to be a wobbly uncertain human. And I appreciate and have compassion for everyone, even the ones that want to shush me, because you are just as human too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Hurry, Scurry, and Worry

I became so tired of the hurry, scurry, and worry. As I read blog posts and Instagram posts about how people had experienced adrenal gland burn out from all the anxiety juice they were pumping into their bodies, I understood even more my own addiction to Doing.

In my case, the anxiety manifested into stomach problems. As a child, I had stomach aches. As a college student, I had gastritis which was one step away from an ulcer. And when I had my children I would devlop a pain in my stomach that went straight back to my rib cage. My anxieties were physically manifesting right where Virgos are known to be vulnerable: in my gut. Gradually I caught on that taking Zantac quelled the acid, but two Christmases ago, my stomach was so ouchy that I couldn’t drink red wine or eat tomato sauce.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

Flash forward to this November when a stressful October and a November emotional episode led me to ask for medicine to alleviate my anxieties. The sky opened up for me.

I slowly began to notice that anything I said I couldn’t do made me anxious at the anticipated outcome of failure. And when I just did my best and let life happen, I was much more calmer. I’ve stayed very easy going and worry free as much as possible. I avoid making lists but rather just make the effort to do the things I need to get done. I’m 100 times less neurotic.

The Hurry, Worry, and Scurry on Shalavee.com

This morning, I am looking at a day that seems to yawn time in front of me, although I also know that the time is finite and will come crashing down around my shoulders at 3:30 when the bus returns my daughter. And I feel completely happy and lucky that I am not in a frenzied hurry to scurry mode doing all the things I never used to give myself credit for. I give myself a ton of credit now. And I want to credit a lot of this claim and productivity to the regular art practice of the ICAD project last year and the
100 day project last and this year. What is meant to get done today will get done today. And there is a bunch more tomorrows to embrace hopefully.

How to gain self trust has been of the truest interest to me. See this article for the list of top methods of building self-trust.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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