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Just Five Things

I have joined a week long exercise in mindfulness and community expansion this week. Created and run by Michelle GD, The Just Five Things Course is asking me to pause three times a day and list five things based on the prompt word of the day. I must admit that “Gratitude” was a hard prompt for me to be inspired by yesterday. However, what came to my attention is that maybe I truly need way more intentional time carved out for myself for my well being. My boundaries are a little wobbly sometimes. Today is Home and I wanted to share my submission with you…Just Five Things on Shalavee.com

“Home”  for Tuesday day May 19th 

Morning
– Comfort and space as cats await my exit from my bed
– Lack of time to myself and chatter and coffee
– Doingness, planning, managing, and watching the redhead’s mood
– Rifle through clothing that I’d rather burn than wear
– Bandits escape and return from shopping to unpack back into kitchen space aka my home office

Afternoon
– Dance of devices in silent and interrupting circles
– The smell of Homemade Chicken noodle soup and lemony clean kitchen floor
– Another escape and return, a walk about a town where my kids grew up noticing every abandoned plant,
– Collage art and blog posts written in my craftroom, a mostly unoccupied space just for me
– Safe inside with windows open watching the winds tear at the world

This evening, I want home to hold me still and keep quiet while I spend some time alone.
There’ll be a bath time but I may be released from my duties.
There’ll be a dinner. I’m voting leftovers. The proof that I have had a purpose even though there’s seemingly nothing to show for it. There’ll be my people around me laughing and being them while I be me.
And hopefully I can take a journal and a book to bed and relax into sleep.

Plus, I made a list and did both the things on it. Technically I am no longer listless. Hope this inspires you to stop and look at your day in a different way. 

 

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Supermom Cape is Getting Threadbare

My supermom cape is beginning to feel a little threadbare. I have said from he beginning that having one child at home feels like three. So I’m feeling like I have 6 kids. And as dear as they would be to you when you met them, they are equally as torturous to me.

Small people need to perpetually test their own power, importance, and lovability. They learn their confidence and self-doubt from their parents. In this case, Fiona is going after me to have her doubts assuaged. And that looks like not doing what she’s told, having fits, crying at me, and professing how much she hates being trapped at home with her parents.

I assured her that we are equally having no fun. Yes she’d be doing all of this if she were in school but at least I’d have some time and space to recover from the sieges before the next. But the codependency is constant. And this is the exact reason why I never ever wanted to homeschool my kids. It’s relentless living with the kids. It’s a whole new layer of torture trying to get them to “learn” when you’re the teacher.My Supermom Cape is Getting Threadbare on Shalavee.com

The reason the doctor makes the nurses give the shots is because he doesn’t want to be the bad guy. Worse yet, in order to show her she matters, I have to sit with her through the hour of mind numbing video math homework and ridiculously simple rhyming activities. And if I even try to tech her something unsanctioned by her teacher, she brakes down into a chorus of I can’t that makes me feel like I can’t either.

So to all of the parents that have to deal with this nonsense for another month, my condolences. I know you feel thin in places. Your super-parental cape is tattered. You love your kids but you don’t like them. I get it and this too shall pass.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Mothering For the Long Haul

I get the feeling that in the old days, people had kids to add more hands to the labor pool. The more bodies, the better to help plant, pick, and pickle. And yes, they were all jammed into small cabins on the prairie or in the hollow much like we are today. Welcome to our ancestral American Roots where you were lucky if you survived bizarre daily accidents and went on to procreate yourself. Mothering for the long haul on Shalavee.com

Fast forward to modern day 2020 and we have all been reduced to huddling in our prairie huts with our families riding out the viral storm, living the past in the present Laura Ingalls Wilder style.. This occasion gives the thinkers like me time to stop and consider who we are and what we think. And what I discovered about myself is that I am foremost, a mother. The well-being of my children physically and mentally is at the top of my everyday priority list. Yes it’s nice if they can haul in the groceries and unload the dishwasher but their mere existence is joy enough for me.Mothering for the long haul on Shalavee.com

So in the first couple weeks of our lock in, I was acting much like I did when we would take them as young children to the beach for a couple overnights. I’d end up worrying all night about if they were getting enough sleep and I’d get no sleep while they’d sleep like the babies they were. 

These first couple weeks of seclusion, I wanted to help my daughter to feel safe. I wanted to be there for her and lighten her load and not add to it. As Moms around the world were doing, I was thinking of the children first. Because I understand this better. Because I remember what it was like to not have my feelings be prioritized. Because I esteem them so that they will esteem them.Mothering for the long haul on Shalavee.com

But I also learned that they needed to grieve for the loss of their normal. They eventually would grieve in their own time and their own ways and I had to step back and be present and allow for this to happen. I can not take away their pain. They are entitled to it. It is theirs. But they also turned to me to feel safe to feel this grief. And that’s truly all we can do for our family and our friends, just witness all the craziness with them and know that soon, this will all be a nightmare.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

There is More to Say in Silence

People have commented how they have heard the birds chirping more recently. I think the birds are chirping the same as they ever do but we’ve slowed our busy selves down enough to hear them. This pandemic is indeed causing a jarring shut down yet I understand that once you’ve stopped fighting the change, you start to become mindful of the silence. It’s a forced meditation.

I believe our overall society is too distracted from what truly matters. We would rather run away than just be with ourselves. We sit in the same room as our loved ones and escape through TV’s and headphones and devices. The family is endured but not necessarily enjoyed.

Because my husband and I are non-traditional age parents (old people with kids), we are in a better place to understand what a joy we have while it lasts with these children. I am always mindful of what they are experiencing and doing, always witnessing and recording their lives for them for later. And I can say that this forced time together has brought us closer in many ways I didn’t foresee.

Family values are about respecting ourselves and the choices we made to become parents. Parenting is about doing the best for them as well as for ourselves. And somehow, I think this quarantine and less busyness can be seen as a good thing if we take the time to listen in the silence to what our souls are asking us to hear. That we can respect ourselves, our boundaries, others’ boundaries, and still be in relationship to one another. In fact, we can take this opportunity to tell the truths we may not have heard over the din of the former “progress” we were making.

What do you hear now that the world has slowed to a halt? What do you realize you can not do without?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Family Time and the Coronacation

In many ways, this forced isolation has expanded my heart. The persistent time spent with my family, and they with each other, has changed us. Where before we were all living our own busy lives, suddenly we are living together.

And seeing each other in a deeper way. We are building trust funds between one another. There have been a few more “I love you’s” than usual.Family Time and the Coronacation on Shalavee.com

One of my most concerted goals with creating a family, has to been to consciously create a closeness between my kids. To foster their connection that will be more important as Mark and I age. We are older aged parents so we might not be around as long in their lives as our parents have been. And no one is allowed to complain about your parents but your siblings.

On the flip side, having suddenly had all of one’s daily routine sucked away leaves small and large people questioning authority and feeling a little claustrophobic. Fiona’s self image so relies on her friends who’s she’s not allowed to see. Duty and demands have replaced my alone and creative time and I’m a little twitchy to say the least.Family Time and the Coronacation on Shalavee.com

Lastly, I watch and listen to my friends and family as they fret over what they can not control. Anxieties and not enoughness are scarring and scaring them and there is nothing I can do to help except keep my humor, keep the news out of my house, and continue to create joy and food for my family.

I will always twitch when I hear the words “self-distancing”. There is such a thing as too much information. And my heart bleeds for the people who have lost loved ones from this illness. We are responsible to each other as humans without this reminder.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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