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Mopey Dope is a Choice of Perspective

We went to the playground yesterday. It was a lovely day, a breezy Sunday, and Fiona was excited to be there. She climbed the rock wall barefooted and ran back and forth. And Eamon just laid in the saucer swing. He wanted to be with his fellow preteens. And he said it was a “Mopey Dope” kinda day. He lacked perspective. They a;; do at that age.

When he felt anxious this morning, I related to him that his kinda day was going to depend on his perspective of his life. If he thought he had good stuff, he appreciated, was grateful for what he had, then he would see himself as happy.At the top of the wall on Shalavee.com

And if he focused on all the things his life lacked, then he was going to see his life as lacking, as sucky. Simply, what you think about your life is what you think your life is.

If I start to obsess and pile up all the things that are going wrong and how that reflects on my life, today I’d be living a little unhappily. I had a very minor fender bender this week while feeling slightly overwhelmed by everything else I have going on. And our water bill came in and was exorbitant. But my kids and I are healthy. I have a house, a good sense of humor, and stuff in my freezer to thaw out for dinner.

Last night I was locked out of my email but my husband and I figured it out. I used to have fits when anything technological went wrong but we kept our cool and held our breath and walked through the fire. We didn’t blow it up and that’s the difference.rock climbing on shalavee.com

I wanted to feel overwhelmed but I told my husband, “I’m just going to have to work harder to disprove that it’ll all turn out bad.” Because what I decide will happen will be what happens. So today, I decided to just be OK. And I hope, when he gets home from school, my son tells me a story about how his day didn’t end up being so bad after all. And if he tries to tell me it was bad, I’ll have to show him my scraped bumper and the $600 water bill.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Our 15th Wedding Anniversary

Dear Bubby,

Happy wedding anniversary! It’s been such a fast ride here. Where did the time go? My kind compassionate handsome do-good man. Our 15th anniversary on Shalavee.com

When we met, we were well aware of what a bad marriage decision looked like. And we knew this was a good one. We have two cute smart kids and careers that are absolute reflections of our talents and passions.

We are a home. And I’m happy to be here. You and I created a place where we are free to be us, and where our children feel safe. It’s old and leaky sometimes but it’s comfy. Our 15th anniversary on Shalavee.com

I am so glad you fell into my life when you did in a slightly fateful sort of way. I am always grateful for you and your hard work and efforts to be what you need to be for your family. I’m proud of you for everything you do. Our 15th anniversary on Shalavee.com

I love you and am proud to be your Missus.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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The Opposite of Scarcity is Enough

I can hear myself saying more more more, not enough. The house is never clean enough, fixed enough, or redecorated enough. My body is not thin or young or tan enough. My efforts to succeed as a writer, blogger, online maker are not ever enough. And so every day I come up short and scared. If I am not enough, I am plain afraid you’ll find out.

I have lived my life at a deficit for years. All of those thoughts have been real and gone through my head. The standards by which I am comparing myself to are randomly based on an American ideal. The successful outcome will guarantee my happiness for the rest of my life. Except it will be the rest of my life I squander being unhappily fearfully not enough. Enough is the opposite of scarcity on Shalavee.com

I certainly come from a fearful scarcity mindset. Like the Great Depression settled into my family’s bones, it is a ghost in my nursery that I can’t shake. Always be ready for the worst. Hold tightly to what you’ve got. “You will always never have enough and knowing that will keep you wise” kinda stuff. I spoke of this phenomenon a year ago and The Unqualified Enoughs are a cruel trap no one should have to endure.

But while I live that anxious lifestyle, I’m missing moments just to relax with my world, my children, my bounty, my luck, and appreciate it. I can not see what’s in front of me for searching the future for more. If I am to stop living the anxiety riddled life of scarcity, I’m going to have to refocus my lens on my today. And it’s going to have to be enough. Enough is the opposite of scarcity on Shalavee.com

Fierce gratitude is necessary to accomplish this I think. Thank your maker, your world, and everyone in it for everything. Give thanks at your meals for the food that passed through all those hands to get to you. Be thankful for the trees that give you air to breath. Be thankful to your parents and your grandparents for getting frisky and begetting you so that you could have your own beautiful children. And write it all down everyday until you really start to know that you have enough every day. And then start looking to put more love and light and wonder in your life. Because that’s where the abundance enters the picture. Or maybe just the Enough for now feeling. I’m good with that.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Let the Gratitude Begin

A new friend of mine wrote a post on her blog here recently in which she was slightly irritated with the sudden gratitude explosion that happens online right before Thanksgiving. She said, shouldn’t people be practicing gratitude all year round? I say yes but it’s all good. Any gratitude is good.

Me personally, I feel my fits and spurts of gratitude come and go. There are emotional seasons of joy and gratitude, and there are seasons of fear and disgruntlement. They can not exist at the same time together and each would be nothing without the other. All gratitude all the time isn’t really possible.

As I unpacked my groceries and ferreted away my Christmas gifts today, I meditated on what I was grateful for. I was thankful that I had a house to live in, food to eat, and a husband who can work to earn money to buy this food. I was thankful that I was gifted two lovely healthy smart children to feed. If they weren’t so picky, I’d be even more grateful.

gratitude on Shalavee.com

I live in a country where I feel mostly certain that I can sleep safely without fear of someone breaking in, murdering, or doing worse to my beloved family in front of me. I’m a citizen of a country where, as a woman, I still get a chance to vote for the people who will run it and I make choices about my body. And I am a fully capable person who can walk down the street, seeing and thinking unhindered by injury or a military presence.

All of this brought me to the realization that the drama and the angst I often put myself through is so self-indulgent and pointless. I’m the one self-administering the blocks and the fear. I have a choice everyday to be bolder, truer, nicer, smarter, and kinder. And losing sight of that choice is the greatest injustice I can do to my freedom and myself. In choosing gratitude, I can also chose to let go and start again. And that realization is my biggest gratitude today.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

You Get What You Give

This past year,when I’m creatively stuck, and need to feel the gratitude of the gift of the greater than me world, I’ve gone to the craft room and made cards to give away. I started this movement last Fall. This year, people’s gift exchanges put me in the gifting mode. I’d ask people to give me their addresses and I’d then send something hand-made, maybe a few trinkets or stickers or candy or decorations I have around.

A delivery of thoughtfulness puts your brain out into the larger world to appreciate. This practice is so healing to me because it’s being selfless and it seems to be the best excuse for me to create. And lastly, not that I really counted on this, but it’s turning the love around which is being delivered back to me. Friendship is the most precious gift ever and I am a lucky wealthy woman this month and this year.

A really sweet card from a friendship I gained through last years faraway friends card send out surprised me with one with such an affirming message inside about why we get along . That about made my month Homemeade card from Shannon on Shalavee.com

Then there was a hand-made card made especially for me back from a new friend from Instagram.

Package from Christel on Shalavee.com

And a package of goodies from Germany from yet another new friend, including her artwork cards, who had given me such a gift some time ago just by telling me my voice of my creative journey inspired her. Christel really was the first person who’d put their finger on my continued “why” in blogging. Because being me gives me hope. And hope and friendship and kindness are really what matter to me. I sent her this array of goodies and almost thought it got lost in the mail.Chris's presie on Shalavee.com

And this was the fabulous post I was then rewarded with.

“YEAH, your sweet package arrived today @shalaghhogan! Thank you so much for your kind words on your beautifully handmade butterfly card. I loved all the nice details while unwrapping all your lovely gifts: a handmade garland, candies, and a toy car and those glittering robots (Nico loves them!)… You made our day! So good to have (understanding) IG-Friends For those who do not know: @shalaghhogan read about this idea to send a surprise letter/package to 5 friends just to spread joy and maybe to receive joy again.”

I now have a friend named Chris who lives in Munich. How lucky ? And she has a friend who lives in Maryland. How lucky are we ?

At first, as I watched all the love between everyone back and forth on Instagram, I felt left out. And then I realized that we often have to invite ourselves to the party we want to join. And then, when I began to feel a part of it because I had joined in the gratitudinal giving, I enjoyed watching the posts and the hopeful notes and thankfulness that the giving was giving back. Weird how that works but it just does.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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