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What if You Did it All Right But You Were Looking at it All Wrong

It’s not as if I don’t try. As Sara Bareilles sings in her song Armor, “You make me try, try, try, try … it’s all I ever do.” But what if the efforts you make are good, it’s just your expectations of what you can humanly accomplish are off ? What if you’re so used to never getting it right and never doing enough that you can’t see how much you’ve accomplished. You can’t see the forest for all the trees.

You know I’m talking about myself. When am I not?

I have been told many times by many wonderful people that they are amazed at how much I seem to accomplish. I have admittedly called myself the Energizer Bunny and written here that my coping mechanism is Industrious Over-focused. But what I wasn’t understanding was why their view of my accomplishments wasn’t the same theirs.

What would I give up if I acknowledged all that I do? The concept that I’m failing at life? The constant definition of me as a failure? Jeeze Louise! How is it possible to be so attached to the negative self-definition of not enough that you keep creating ways to prove it?What if You Did it All Right But You Were Looking at it All Wrong ? on Shalavee.com

Smaller goals and smaller celebrations for smaller progress. This is the way I see myself truly making progress that I can acknowledge. Because if all I have is today to live, than the acceptable celebrate-able enoughness of my efforts needs to happen today. Not “next time”. Not “when I have more time”. I need to work in a way that I can appreciate my efforts and feel proud of them in small ways.

I will continue to work hard. But instead of always dangling the carrot so that I can never reach it, perhaps I need to change it to a rutabaga. Or place it in my hand to begin with and then move on to the work. I don’t need to change my systems as much as my vision. It’s all in the way we look at it.

Change nothing and nothing changes.

Wisdom gained is only as wise as it is applied.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Why Will Tell the How

I started my blog, Shalavee.com , to have a place to hone my writing skills. I rose to the challenge to write and post regularly. For several years, I even posted every day in October just to prove it could be done. I have loyally provided regular new content to my readership three times per week. Until the pandemic threw me off.

And as I began to think about what I wanted my new blog to look like (an eventuality and source of great torment), I thought that I no longer want to do what I think I should do. Instead, I want to do what makes me happy.

I began to write to share my thoughts. And I found it’s equally marvelous to allow the catharsis of writing as it is to share and discuss thoughts with others. I found such an amazing group of like minded people online which I never expected. And this has shown me that a community is where I am happiest. Not typing away in silence and talking at people from far away.

So my Why is to connect, commune, and communicate with people. And I’ve decided that I will spend a little less time posting my blog content and a little more time engaging people in discussions about what I’ve already said.

To this end, I will be changing my posting times from Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to Tuesdays and Fridays at 6:30 am. I will also be doing a monthly newsletter again soon to engage people. And I will continue to be on Instagram but perhaps not daily as I’ve done for years.

I’m clearing space out in my life to take myself more seriously. It’s been a long time coming and I feel I finally understand that whatever makes me the happiest is the right thing to do. And here’s to hoping that my loyal readership wants to see me happy too.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

Are You Struck Too by Mankind’s Generosity in this Crisis?

One action is striking me in this time of quietly awaiting the restart of our lives. Yes, the absolute idiocy of our American government and how smart my daughter is aside,  the richness and generosity of the human spirit. All the efforts of people to help one another with food and assistance definitely increases my feelings of faith in mankind.

That after we’re over getting through this, we can see exactly what was always important to us as individuals and as civilizations. The word civil being the operative word. Money and fear have been governing our world for too long while our world’s environment and children need feeding and care. No amount of money saved at Walmart will get us closer to these.Are You Struck Too by Mankind's Generosity in this Crisis? on Shalavee.com

If there’s one thing that will make you and me feel better any day of our lives, it’s to make a difference to someone, for someone. So send love to people, both loved ones and strangers alike. Be a part of healing us and yourself. Show up for others without the need to be acknowledged for it and you’ll receive more rewards than you ever imagined.

I am making art everyday for myself and others. I am sending cards and compliments and company. I am feeding the cats, squirrels, blue jays, and anything else that likes Purina cat food. I am being present for myself and my kids. What else is there?

Want to read more of my viral diaries?

Now is When We Need Self-Compassion

What’s a Sunday Feel Like?

What Life Will You Choose When This is Done?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Ability to Change is Not about Willpower

(This is a repost from a year and a half ago. I forget myself, my writing, and my truth until I read my pieces and say “Heck Ya!”. Enjoy.)

If it were a matter of willpower, we’d all be willing ourselves into success and abundance and skinniness. Yes your ability to change starts with your intent and your why but after that there’s a trick to do what you want. Your belief in your worthiness and your self-trust are what’s standing between you and what you want. And your fear is what’s in charge until they are.

I detest the formulas out there to my success which depend on me “just doing it”. I see and read so much about your ability to change your life and your plethora of choices and I want to scream, “Your missing the part where I believe I can and I’m worth it”. My low self-esteem might have been called out but it is by no means been completely reversed.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

If I don’t trust myself as reliable, honorable, and capable of following these steps to success and achievement, I am not starting. I already know I’ll fail myself. Why would I want to put myself through that over and over. It’s easier to assume I can’t than to bear the pain of starting and then discovering (surprise!) that I can’t follow through.

At the beginning, we are either worth the effort or we’re not. We claim we know that of course we are worth it but many people feel unworthy of so much secretly. The world has shown them they aren’t worthy. Their parents just weren’t there or asked them to be someone other than who they knew they were. The opportunities they saw other people getting were not offered to them. And layer upon layer upon layer of unworthiness build up. Until giving up is way less painful than trying.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

I have held a campaign for self-trust for myself for some time. As in over five years consciously. It is a steep hill to climb and yet, I am finally at the point where I am feeling the scales tipping. Witness my feeling of I can vs I can’t in this recent piece.

Life is a “Do It Yourself Project” of the largest degree. And every facet of your life and perception is malleable, changeable. Every thought we have is subject to our own scrutiny of validity. And in this introspective process, a noble self-respecting way of thinking arises. And through that, the understanding that our relationship with ourselves, our self-care, and our honor are all of our own doing.

Somehow, we need to grab ahold of the concept that we are all undeniably worth our own mercy and we then begin again. The nobility of beginning again is fathomless. And the wonder of our own faulted humanity is held by everyone, especially the person who’s holding your hand when you decide you are worth the effort.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Listening to My Inner Truth

Our family just went to see Toy Story 4 recently in which Buzz Lightyear learns from Woody that listening to his inner voice will help him make the best life choices. And so throughout the rest of the movie, he’d yank on his pull string and interpret his “inner voice” to guide him. It was brilliant.

Call it inner voice or intuition, people tend to get their Intuition mixed up with their Should Managers. I’ve done this repeatedly and it always gets me in trouble. Instead of listening to what will nourish my heart and soul, I make a choice that either puts me out in the wide open, too vulnerable and uncertain about what to do next. Or I stay in hiding and think I can’t start at all until it’s “safe” and I know everything. Leading with the head instead of the heart gets you in trouble.

What I do know is that if I pull it all back and ask myself what my truthful purpose in life is, I get an answer that seems so me, I relax. I asked today and I heard, “To facilitate community, communication, self-awareness, and support creativity for myself and others in a way that makes a difference.” Truth.Listening to Your Inner Truth on Shalavee.com

The trick is to make sure that every choice I make feels like I’m promoting that. Ask every time I choose to push forward, is this supporting my growth of myself, my community, and my opportunities to live creatively? If the answer is maybe, I need to stop and consider all the marvelous possibilities that I may be squelching by either not going through with it or pushing through.

I have been holding myself back for a long long time. I have listened to myself countless times asking to expand. And I have shut that down so many times saying it’s better if I just keep safe and keep treading water. Even my Intuition is onto this now. The best time to start over is always right now. As the seasons change, I feel a internal change coming too and a need for a new story to emerge. Do you feel this way too in Spring and Fall ?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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