search
top

Janu-Wary

I was feeling the bliss, the rolling high on the “Ok-ness” from the holiday downtime until yesterday when suddenly I felt myself starting to knock all the happy little hope bubbles off the 2016 shelf where I’d so carefully placed them. Exactly 2 weeks in and suddenly there’s nothing new anymore about the year?!

I’ve read New Year’s posts galore and copious word of the year choices. And there were warnings to be careful about resolutions that would fail you as opposed to themes that could guide you. Or meditation that can ground you. Or just plain awareness of your choices to feel bad as opposed to good. Someone wise said beware when the newness wears off. Glad to have that warning because I think that just happened.Janu-wary on Shalavee.com

Suddenly I felt the old thought patterns knocking at the door. Familiar voices calling out to me about my not enoughness. Why don’t I have a clearly defined purpose and a twelve month plan on exactly how I’m going to carry that out ? Like that woman with the shiny blog and an online creative career? Surely if I could just choose to be impassioned by something, my life would completely change and fall right into place.

So off I go to the gym hoping for inspiration and a change in thoughts. I’m on the treadmill and I recognize the familiar devaluing myself based on others cognitive distortion going on. “Comparison is the thief of joy” I chant and “Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides” came to mind. Comparison to others is unfair. No I may not know my complete “Why” but as long as I stay focused on gratitude and the creative work in front of me, I am so close, in the zone. Janu-wary on Shalavee.com

If that involves month-long collaborative projects, great! If I feel like I need to have weekly themes, great! But I do not have to be or do anything other than what makes me soulfully happy. That’s purpose enough. That’s really all I have time for besides the mothering of a toddler and a ten-year old and the maintenance of this household. Truly I am enough for just this realm of activities.

And then a friend/acquaintance comes over and scares the heck out of me, as my earphones were mighty loud. She wanted me to know that she’d read my blog post, something I’d written. She says I write really well. And I said “Thank you” and meant it. Thank you for the reminder Universe. My shelf of little hopes remains in tact.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Wind

The only weather element I hate is the wind.

Oh how I hate the wind. And I don’t mean the nice breeze that blow by and tickles you in the Springtime. I mean the howling ripping destructive mean bitter wind that comes around at the worst times, coldest times, rainiest times.

I hate how it knocks stuff over.

I hate how even the sound makes me cold as does thinking about the animals out in that cold wind and me hoping they have shelter enough.

I hate its callous cruel shredding tossing ways as it vandalizes tree limbs and sheers off doors everywhere, laughing as it passes.The Wind on Shalavee.com

I hate the goose bumps I have from a draft that the wind is forcing in through a crack somewhere and teasing my wind hate on the tops of my thighs.

I charge the wind with the crime of reminding me of my lack of insulation.

The lion roars outside and I begin my wait for the lamb.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Creative Overwhelm

Seems what I have is quite common for creative types. The flood of creative ideas followed by the need to act on them all right now. And then my brain locks up, creative overwhelm. Like too many programs running on the computer, you staring at the screen and the screen staring back at you. And often, I stay overwhelmed, poking at one or two endeavors but never feeling like I’m accomplishing anything. Because even when I do, the amount of tasks is daunting in comparison. And nothing can make the grade when the curve is that steep.Creative overwhelm on Shalavee.com

Perspective to the rescue. If all things are fabulous than nothing is. If there’s too many items on the to do list, I’m overwhelmed. And even if I accomplish anything, it doesn’t look or feel like it comparably.

What if there were a way to separate the ideas from the action lists. To quarantine them, contain them from spilling out and having me feel like I’m standing still comparatively. Because a year is a mighty long time when you devote a little time regularly to one thing. I think it’s possible to accomplish a lot more than we do, or think we can, if we’re clever and intentional. I just think it’s all in the way we’re looking at it. Because Perspective is my additional word for the year.Chessie napping on Shalavee.com

Conversely, I think we can sabotage ourselves a million ways past Sunday if we do “all or nothing” thinking and don’t allow for our humanity. Push , push, strive for perfection, every achievement is hollow, never good enough because we’re not good enough. When I hear my brain use words like always, completely, perfectly, it’s a flag for the need for some perspective there. I’m aware of how my auto-pilot goes into autocratic mode. And the outcome will prove my unworthiness every time.

So I’ll start with my aspirations and my lists. Pick one or two things to focus on until they’re done, keep my blinders on to the bigger list, and celebrate my small one at a time victories. Sabotage starts with mindfulness.  I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Page 20 of 264« First...10...1819202122...304050...Last »
top