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As children, we are astutely aware of which grown-ups are showing up for us and which ones are full of shite. Showing up looks like just that; being present, listening to you, understanding you, and seeing you as you are. Attending the big moments and being available for the smaller ones. In my childhood, there…
I feel like I’m always searching for the secret recipe to “Normal”, or what my ideal definition of normalcy is. But there are shades of white male idealism so entwined in this word that I’m pretty sure that ideal is a spoiled mirage, neither obtainable nor desirable. My low self-esteem hasn’t done me any favors…
High self-esteem has never been a given for me. Even having mediocre self-esteem was not guarenteed. How about you? The untold story Is that many people are faking their confidence. You can just sense some people’s desperation and neediness more than others. Lifting my self-esteem has been a lifelong struggle for me. Initially, when we…
I find myself once again, for the seemingly thousandth time, doubting my reason d’etre. I have been experiencing a bout of ennui, not feeling motivated or inspired by my life. Again. Of course, it’s always The Fear Mother, the fiendish shadow in the soul that crawls in and darkens my thoughts. Casts spells of forgetfulness…
I have a hard time believing. Raised by anxious agnostics with low self-esteem and a Depression mindset of scarcity who betrayed me, I have a hard time believing. In January, I started a dietary and awareness adjustment program called Noom. It’s a great program because it comes from a psychological perspective, which I love. The…
I spent the best and most beautiful years of my life feeling unworthy. Unworthy of love, acceptance, abundance, and your like for me. In fact I was sort of suspicious of anyone who liked me. If I didn’t like me then what did you see in me? Or what did you want from me? I…
Somehow I’ve decided that there is a box I am supposed to stay within. That to venture from the box is certain death. I somehow always know that I am not allowed to imagine myself anywhere else but in the Fear Box. I am denied access to the world of possibilities outside. But I also…
I struggle with being myself. I have spent a lifetime trying to be the right me. “Just be yourself” confuses me. All the efforts to restore myself or find my way back are a nice concept but I don’t know if I ever felt 100 % safe to just to be me. I am working…
It continuously occurs to me that the better I know myself, the better I can understand my value to the world and to you whoever you might be. When I connect with me I can connect with you. And becoming myself is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I envy those…
I have come to understand that the two areas of me that need the most work are self-trust and self-value. I believe that my lack of self-trust is what causes anxiety. And my lack of self-value is otherwise known as low self-esteem or self-worth. It struck me the other day that I have truly believed…
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