A Published Essay on Lessons in the Time of Lockdown

Sometimes I need to gift myself opportunities to expand creatively. Whether it’s my 100 Day project or decorating a special event, I do well with having a deadline. And even though I’ve mostly kept myself accountable to writing three times a week for my blog ( a little understandable slacking during our lockdown), it’s been a while since I had an opportunity to write with this sort of impetus.  Julia Barnickle’s Lesson’s during Lockdown collaboration provided a perfect opportunity to write something bigger and better.

Julia had already hosted something about finding more Ease in our daily lives in January. And when, in her invitation to join, she spoke of her own experience writing for others’ community projects as a good way to feel a part of community, I got this. Absolutely. She wrote:

“In July 2020, there will be a second free online community project “Lessons from Lockdown” which will result in another ebook / book, containing essays / quotes about positive things learned during the experience of lockdown during the COVID-19 Coronavirus pandemic.

One of my visions for “Lessons from Lockdown” is not only to describe how we’ve managed to stay sane during lockdown, but also to create a vision of a bright new future – a future that works for everyone.”

You can find my essay titled Lessons During Lockdown: Finding Ease in Uncertain Times Here. I truly enjoyed writing this because, when I did, I finally found ease in writing my specific story. Seems that writing is the place where I am mostly myself. Where I enter a world that I am uninterrupted with my muse and that is a place I want to live in.

Funny though how I have been here before and forgotten.

In March of 2018, I had an invitation to join the Wholehearted Living Project hosted by Terri Connellan on her Quiet Writing site. I was thrilled and proud of myself for that piece. I discovered more of myself within that project. I found that I believed in Non-Negotiable Creative Soul Living, a way of respecting the need for creativity and living within that space. You can find that essay title Gathering My Lessons: A Wholehearted Story Here on Terri’s site.

Then I offered an essay up for the Attract Readers’ International Women’s Day Challenge in March of 2019 titled Ceasing Our Self-Bullying & Befriending Ourselves which you can read here. I had the chance to truly speak to myself about compassion and kindness.

Point is that I enjoy writing these bigger essays. It gives me time to really find out what I think. And to take time to mold then and smooth them out until they are the best I can do. I am proud of all these pieces and have been reminded again that I’m an essayist.

Were you to want to read my other stories, they’re there for your enjoyment.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Listless

Last week was like a test week for me, not that all the weeks haven’t tested me but it felt most certainly that way. I’ve just been unable to get enough separate time and that starts to eat away at my personality. I was feeling wobbly and sad last week. We had moment after moment of upset with the kids and I began to leak hope.

And then a woman on Instagram wrote that she now understood what the word “Listless” meant. I am without focus for myself. I have been so bust throughout this “crisis” making sure everyone else has been OK and taken care of that I just ran out of myself. An author named Anniki Sommerville wrote a book called Motherwhelmed which looks to be a funny and empowering read on the feelings of worthlessness that often accompany motherhood.

Towards my recovering and restoring myself, last week I dyed my roots and cut my bangs. And repainted my toenails. However, what I need is to truly demand more time being alone. That’s what energizes me. And reinstate my favorite boundary establishing phrase, “I’m sorry that you feel that way but I have to do this for me”. Used that to break up with the “boyfriend that wouldn’t leave”. I have also signed up for a week of a meditational exercise with Michelle GD that includes list making called Just Five Things. Looking forward to creating a new perspective and a new community.

The hardest part is to suspend the self-judgement. I need to start my exercise regiment back and that’s going to be inspired by the new running shoes that I ordered. One day at a time. That is how my 100 day project is progressing. And that is how we will get out of this 2020 debacle of pandemic craziness. Thoughtfully. Carefully. Determined.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Are You Struck Too by Mankind’s Generosity in this Crisis?

One action is striking me in this time of quietly awaiting the restart of our lives. Yes, the absolute idiocy of our American government and how smart my daughter is aside,  the richness and generosity of the human spirit. All the efforts of people to help one another with food and assistance definitely increases my feelings of faith in mankind.

That after we’re over getting through this, we can see exactly what was always important to us as individuals and as civilizations. The word civil being the operative word. Money and fear have been governing our world for too long while our world’s environment and children need feeding and care. No amount of money saved at Walmart will get us closer to these.

If there’s one thing that will make you and me feel better any day of our lives, it’s to make a difference to someone, for someone. So send love to people, both loved ones and strangers alike. Be a part of healing us and yourself. Show up for others without the need to be acknowledged for it and you’ll receive more rewards than you ever imagined.

I am making art everyday for myself and others. I am sending cards and compliments and company. I am feeding the cats, squirrels, blue jays, and anything else that likes Purina cat food. I am being present for myself and my kids. What else is there?

Want to read more of my viral diaries?

Now is When We Need Self-Compassion

What’s a Sunday Feel Like?

What Life Will You Choose When This is Done?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Monday Gratitude Journal Post

I feel so fortunate this week. Let me name you the reasons why.

• My blog is on it’s way to being a big girl’s site. Read about how I was feeling in February.
• I created beautiful pictures that I am proud of and are so ME to use in the redesign.
• I wrote and edited the heck out of a piece for International Women’s Day on self-bullying that was the best I could write. It’ll be published on another site to link back to me! That’s what bloggers do, you see.
• My anxiety is at bay. No more swirling vortex episodes in over a year.
• I am hosting a creativity challenge and am so happy to be in community with all these lovely people! I am a rich woman in my soul.
• My daughter Fiona is turning 7 this week. She is happy and beautiful and a blessing to everyone she meets.
• My son is so talented and engaged in using his talents, it’s all I ever want for kids his age, especially him.
• I am moving forward, not stalled and frozen, in so many ways.

That concludes my Monday gratitude journal post. I hope everyone is feeling the hope of Spring or Fall in your own worlds. And you sleep well this evening.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Living the Life I Saw I Wanted

After I was immersed in online communities for a long enough time, I began to see there were different ways of being and seeing. I wanted to understand what it meant to be mindful, compassionate, free from anxiety, and looking forward to my future as an artist. I wanted to see my life and my existence in these new ways because, up until then, I had not experienced or ever thought of these ideas.

I have always been a learner and a searcher. And I was discovering entire communities that believed and were living these concepts. These ways of living brought them joy, ease, and hope. And I wanted to be a card carrying member.

So I hung out and watched, took risks, learned, and got burned. I shared what I was trying, seeing, feeling, and failing at. And year after year, I became part of an immense community of like-minded people. With much trepidation, I led projects that focused on creativity and soul work. I struggled and moved slowly. I spoke my truths and felt heard.

When I finally conceded that all the cognitive work hadn’t kept me from falling into a pit of anxiety, I asked for anti-anxiety meds. This was the pivotal point when I laid down the foundation for all that work to finally stick. My fear was so strong and the pathways so well-trod that none of my work would allow my brain to open those final doors.

In the months that followed, I started to notice that the quieting of the persistent whispers of fear left space for me to truly comprehend and apply all the learning I had collected. I began to administer compassion to me and my loved ones. I began to be extremely aware of my every moment with my children. Mindfulness was making a whole lot of sense to me. And with all of this, I was building my self trust. The primary component for a sense of ease and hope I have longed for all of my life.

I still have the beautiful intelligent powerful community that I grew with all this time. And I am able to share these thoughts and epiphanies with them and gain new connections with people who are moving in the same directions as me. I believe that I not only belong with these people and they make me a better me, I belong to my easy-going compassionate hopeful self as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.