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Currently Browsing: Friendship

How Instagram Helped Cure Me of Anxiety

I love to connect with like-minded creative women on Instagram. This format of Social media (also known as a platform) became my preferred online social interaction as I was trying to build an audience for my blog. I very hesitantly joined communities and challenges and slowly started to poke my head out of my fear shell. And I credit Instagram and creativity for curing me of my anxieties.

I’d never experienced community and was completely unsure of what it meant and how I was supposed to do it. I just knew that being witnessed by these wonder women from inside their hearts was the greatest gift ever. I watched and I listened as they showed me what vulnerability looked like and what it gives you. And my intuition told me that, despite what everyone said about social media, there was something really good going on here.How Instagram Helped Cure Me of Anxiety on Shalavee.com

We humans want to be accepted by our tribe as who we truly are. It is our deepest desire to have our authentic selves seen. At the same time, we are afraid of rejection and judgment as this could mean ostracization and either physical death or shame and the death of our spirit. This is primal fear stuff that we aren’t truly aware of but have discerned from the teachings of our pack and our world.

So here we are, the loveliest ladies on Instagram and we’re feeling the swellness of being witnessed and the rawness of risking being judged. We have two choices at all times. We can either choose to fit-in, twist ourselves into the likeness of those around us as to guarantee we will be accepted. Or we can choose to be vulnerable and authentic and watch as people love us for who we are. Because this is our hearts desire and this requires faith and letting go.How Instagram Helped Cure Me of Anxiety on Shalavee.com

I know that when I act inauthentically and try to make people like me, I lose trust in them and myself. I know they aren’t really liking me but a false image I am manipulating. And I don’t trust myself even for thinking so little of me that I am unworthy of being seen. It’s a sticky wicked if ever there was one. And the only cure for this fear quagmire is to just be authentically you.

I heard a woman ask today if her lack of confidence and boldness in posting truths about herself on Instagram recently was about her expectations of what it would bring or fear of being judged. And I replied that we all had that feeling at some point. But there will be that one moment when we post something raw and real about ourselves and that one stranger responds, “Thank You” because they felt inspired and courageous to be authentic as well. And that is the faith that keeps me being vulnerable and witnessing everyone online. It is the blessing, the superpower, that we can give on each other and it’s totally completely free.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Choose to Not Choose is Still a Choice

She rather vehemently insisted that there are no choices. Thank you very little, she understands the concept of “everything is a choice”, just not for her. She’s resigned to that comfortable hell of nothing changes because perhaps it is too overwhelming to consider those other choices. To allow for change would be to admit that had always been a choice perhaps? The march of the musts is way more familiar. And maybe familiar trumps joy? At some cellular level, joy is just another hell. It is painfully unfamiliar. Why want something that we’d have to take on faith that it even exists?Choose to Not Choose is Still a Choice on Shalavee.com

This is why dear friend. Because every inner child longs for joy, knows they are entitled by birthright to it, and believes that it is all it’s cracked up to be. And there isn’t any child that is more unworthy of joy than another. No baby ever sinned to deserve a life of self-abandonment and torment.

So the choice is yours to not choose. But when you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.And if what you’re doing isn’t working, try something else less painful. Your child inside is waiting for you to change your mind.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

A Wrap Up for the Our Creative June Challenge

And just like that, we’ve come to the end of Our Creative June! I hosted this challenge on Instagram where I encouraged people to join me in creating something daily in the month of June and post it with the #OurCreativeJune and #OurCreativeSelves hashtags, and they did! These artists and creatives stepped up onto the platform alongside me and we collectively creatively kicked butt.

When I chose to double my offerings to arting twice daily by taking on the ICAD (index card a day) challenge as well as my 100 Day Project ( #100daysofShalagh ), I figured what the heck. Why not invite other people to art along with me? I know what immense pride and joy it gives me and I love to pass the empowerment and excitement onto others. See the post from the first week here

I hosted a Our Creative September challenge back in September of 2016 which led to our creation of the #OurCreativeSelves hashtag . There are 200 posts on that page. And then I hosted a Our Creative May Challenge in May of 2017 with the #OurCreativeMay for which there were 321 posts. For the Our Creative June challenge, there are a total of 533 posts posted to the #OurCreativeJune hashtag on that page. WOW!

There are a few of the same participants as well as a few new joinees. And let me tell you, the diversity and talent is so interesting to witness. From photography to magazine and ephemera and mixed media collages, several types of painting, to sewing and needlepoint, these people showed up everyday for themselves and for each other. Community creative challenges are amazing and I encourage anyone and everyone to join one when it comes your way and see what happens. It kinda changed my life in ways I didn’t expect it to. Thank you again to my fellow creatives. I adore you all.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit

Let Joy and Glee Rule

You can start over at anytime. I say this and I believe it yet there are layers to every awakening and restarting. And today I’ve, discovered another layer.

In order to move onward, I am in a perpetual state of revisiting and re-asking myself the same questions. What makes me happiest? Where is my joy and my glee? What makes me think that life isn’t supposed to have joy and glee ruling my decisions?Joy and glee on Shalavee.com

When we ask our inner selves questions like these instead of bullying ourselves by telling ourselves what we think we should do, we open up to a different place and process. When we neutralize the judgments we may keep heaping on ourselves and take a moment to ask if they are true, we may discover our truer selves. What am I fighting and frightened of by issuing these shoulds?

And then, do what you feel is counter intuitive and forgive yourself for being mean and start over with compassionate queries of what will bring bliss. Help yourself to the permission to choose again what is for you. What you could become and wait for the whispers of gratitude from your soul.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

On Bossing Yourself Around

Kids and big folks alike don’t want to be told what to do. At my house we jokingly say,”Because if you tell me to do it, I’m not gonna do it”. We quite openly use reverse psychology on our kids. “Hey Fiona, whatever you do, don’t go to the potty.” And off to the potty she goes. It works every time even though she knows exactly what we are up to. So bossing yourself can prove to be difficult as well.

I think a lot of us never grow out of that punk attitude of not wanting to be told what to do. Besides making it hard to follow instructions to maintain a job, this becomes another problem when we need to direct our own efforts. When we need to administrate and delegate our time and our efforts to meet our goals, we have to tell ourselves what to do and when to do it. If we just spend all of our time letting the wind decide which way we task ourselves, we may end up being quite upset at how we never seem to accomplish anything we think we should be doing.On Bossing Yourself Around on Shalavee.com

I know that creativity is a priority for me. And I have read enough to know that I can not wait for the muse to show up to be inspired to write or draw. These days, I may just sit myself down in the morning while I’m still fresh and write or draw before the gym or the grocery shopping. Self-leadership is the term I now understand to mean guiding myself towards my goals. And coming from an undisciplined punk background, this is a steep concept to embody.

Self-trust is my biggest buzz word. Your “word” needs to be good to yourself before you are trustworthy to the world. If you say you will do something, be that to yourself or someone else, you need to do it and make your word good. Building the self-trust within yourself is the number one pathway I can see to authenticity and self-esteem. If you don’t trust you, you aren’t believing in your commitment and your importance to yourself. And none of my goals will mean anything to me anyway.On Bossing Yourself Around on Shalavee.com

When we commit to guiding or “bossing” ourselves, and carry out our instructions, we prove we are worthy of the trust and we are building a relationship with ourselves. We are making friends with our Body Buddy.  The inner parent gets to boss but also gets to be proud of what you’ve accomplished. And this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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