Kids and big folks alike don’t want to be told what to do. At my house we jokingly say,”Because if you tell me to do it, I’m not gonna do it”. We quite openly use reverse psychology on our kids. “Hey Fiona, whatever you do, don’t go to the potty.” And off to the potty she goes. It works every time even though she knows exactly what we are up to. So bossing yourself can prove to be difficult as well.
I think a lot of us never grow out of that punk attitude of not wanting to be told what to do. Besides making it hard to follow instructions to maintain a job, this becomes another problem when we need to direct our own efforts. When we need to administrate and delegate our time and our efforts to meet our goals, we have to tell ourselves what to do and when to do it. If we just spend all of our time letting the wind decide which way we task ourselves, we may end up being quite upset at how we never seem to accomplish anything we think we should be doing.
I know that creativity is a priority for me. And I have read enough to know that I can not wait for the muse to show up to be inspired to write or draw. These days, I may just sit myself down in the morning while I’m still fresh and write or draw before the gym or the grocery shopping. Self-leadership is the term I now understand to mean guiding myself towards my goals. And coming from an undisciplined punk background, this is a steep concept to embody.
Self-trust is my biggest buzz word. Your “word” needs to be good to yourself before you are trustworthy to the world. If you say you will do something, be that to yourself or someone else, you need to do it and make your word good. Building the self-trust within yourself is the number one pathway I can see to authenticity and self-esteem. If you don’t trust you, you aren’t believing in your commitment and your importance to yourself. And none of my goals will mean anything to me anyway.
When we commit to guiding or “bossing” ourselves, and carry out our instructions, we prove we are worthy of the trust and we are building a relationship with ourselves. We are making friends with our Body Buddy. The inner parent gets to boss but also gets to be proud of what you’ve accomplished. And this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
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