My friends and I met last night for a small check-in and chat. And we discovered that we’re all reaching a place where we want to reconnect and return to our social places and people. We miss our “others’ and who we are when we are with them. We’re ready to let go of the fear and the guarded facades that Covid had us put on.
I am also finding I want to let go of some long standing judgments I have about what’s tolerable in others. Because what irks us in others is what we are judging in ourselves. And is usually fear based. How can we judge others’ fear.
For example, I’m dubious of people who call themselves coaches because I fear I will never know enough to feel I am an authority on offering life guidance. So you can’t either. If you’re afraid you’re not a good enough parent, you may be extra judgmental of other parents.
But how is it I judge my value as only being the shape of my body when I wouldn’t actually be so intolerant of others in this way. We don’t know what pain they are living. Apparently I am ignorant and judgmental of something going on in me. I would like to let go of my lack of compassion please. It has never served me. I want compassion to make room for myself and my humanity.
My therapist once advised me that if I was feeling out of control and twitchy, I should go clean out a drawer. Recently, I’ve been feeling the need to do something like this. Maybe it’s the seasonal cleaning I am compelled to accomplish but maybe it’s more. Perhaps I need to shed some of the weight of the things I carry around responsibility for? If everything you see somehow becomes your responsibility, then any amount of clutter can overwhelm you.
Over the last year and a half, I have let go of a lot of obligations and shoulds. With this feeling of lightness I’ve earned a greater understanding of how much energy I really do have to spend per day, week, and month. And it’s a lot less than I used to think I have. So I’m on an energy budget which means letting go of what no longer gives back. And setting those boundaries will be helpful in lowering my stress and my blood pressure.
There’s just me here taking care of me. We can help one another by asking for what we need, saying no, and allowing for others to do the same. What is it that you were sparked to say no to when you read me words?
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