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I found myself in the attic today, knowing full well that much of the rest of my 100 Day challenge of letting go of past shite would be found in that space where my entire life is packed into boxes and bins neglectfully carelessly stacked everywhere. I didn’t have cold feet but I did have…
Have you become mad at yourself because you can’t keep a regular creative schedule? Judging yourself because you are not committed to your creative life and not producing the way you think you should? This is how you can guarantee your creativity won’t be inspired. When our creativity and productivity become entwined, our inner child…
Within the past couple weeks, it has come to my attention that I believe I am both not enough and too much simultaneously. The combination of my not enough and too muchness leaves me standing outside myself feeling homeless from my own soul. How ridiculous, I think, when I have so many blessings and so…
Been playing that same game I seem to like to do with thoughts of my time. I want to change my routine and include more writing and creative time again in my days. And then day after day, the time that I thought I’d do this slips away into the vortex of chores. It’s not…
What I’ve been experiencing, this coming back to myself and my creativity, is like I’m attempting to reboot and recover my files after a power shutdown. In the old computer days, that was a big pain. Or like an earthquake hit my heart. As if I have to remove rubble to begin seeing myself again….
In this complete absence and void of “doing” I have been living in this Summer, I have been listening for truths to rise. I have since spent my time parenting and sitting back to listen to the truths that eventually come. Because they do come if you are patient and listen and write and think…
For me, the cup remains half full no matter how many times I recognize I have enough. It is my default mode no doubt rooted in an ancestral history of famine and depression. If I expect the cup’s emptiness, anything more than empty will look great. I live a perpetual struggle to love myself even…
I visited my therapist today and we spoke a lot about “The Not Enoughs”. I have a very intimate long-running relationship with them. And they show up a lot in my life and claim jurisdiction on everything from the way I feel about my body to my creative work. Perpetually harassing me with their proclaimed…
I’m perhaps a little stunned that this year is feeling so much more normal. The flower garden is growing and asking me for the attention that usually overwhelms me as we head into May, the super busy month. I’d like to have gotten more done before the heat wave hit but I’m hoping for some…
As you know, I truly disregard other’s judgment of my expression of feelings here. This space has always held safety for me. Even when I’ve been attacked, I still know that I am entitled to be honest about me. I sometimes think I should be more so. And what I’ve come to realize is that…
