I visited my therapist today and we spoke a lot about “The Not Enoughs”. I have a very intimate long-running relationship with them. And they show up a lot in my life and claim jurisdiction on everything from the way I feel about my body to my creative work. Perpetually harassing me with their proclaimed truthful judgments, I forever fall short.
My therapist asked how I was doing with my body image today. I said the Not Enoughs have been in there stomping around. I tried some of my Summer clothing on this past week and declared myself a failure because nothing fit. They suggest that the Noom plan I’m on isn’t cutting it and I should quit already. That’s what they always suggest and it’s never helpful so I declined.
The TNE’s are outside in the garden pointing out the unplanted plants and the unweeded beds. They are wearing white gloves in the bedroom shaking their heads. And they are in my craft room wondering loudly why my creative business endeavors are languishing in there.
The question my therapist posed is how would I define myself if I didn’t have the Not Enoughs hanging around like a cloak of doom. What would it take for me to let them go and define myself otherwise. What would it take to be safe enough to be enough? How can I stop nurturing the familiar wound and embrace thoughts of better more fulfilled living.
That is a very good question.
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