During the first week of school, Eamon’s teacher told the class that Bullies don’t know, or care, that you are very important to someone in your life. You are just not too important to the bully, who in turn wishes those people in his/her life who supposedly love him/her would act like it. It’s your perspective of your worth that can stop the bully from coming after you. You matter whether you recognize it or not.
People are mean to one another. Empathy and compassion are missing in many places, in many people. And that’s where we need to fill it in for ourselves. Yes we need others to care for us and take care of us. We desperately need to matter to the world and let those people whose job it is to help us take care of us. Besides parents, these can include health service people, police, and government employees. But even when you are out asking for the help, sometimes their own life problems get in the way of helping you through and you feel your worth get consumed by the system. And you may be left wondering WTF? They never called you back from the doctor’s office or the budget billing got screwed up. Your check honestly got lost or the coupon expired while you weren’t looking. It’s not fair but it’s not personal.
Here’s the trick. Their reactions and non-reactions don’t have anything to do with you. Just as it’s so hard not to interpret the bully’s actions as a reflection of you, it’s also hard not to see the system dropping you on the floor as meaning you are not worthy of support. But you are worthy of it. Because innately we know everyone is worthy. And your opinion here is the only one that matters, the only one you will believe in the end. How will you reassess the situation to see your benefits, your options, and gain your perspective on your worth?
So when you start looking for more signs that you suck, please stop. It all depends on which way your mind wants to tell the story. If you knew that the bully got beaten by his Dad everyday, would you feel differently. Or that the government tax person or nurse that messed your paperwork up have children who are dying or drunks, would you feel differently? There’s too much mind reading going on that has you as downtrodden persecuted heroine. Perhaps that story needs to be rewritten. No one cares as much about you as you can today.
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