Everything that happens to you isn’t personal. In fact most of it isn’t. Sometimes a person can’t give me what I want because they can’t see anything in me that they need either. The world and the people in it don’t consider you half as important as you consider yourself and that’s got to be OK. In accepting the non-personal nature of our days, we could spend less time worrying about our worth and more on coming up with better schemes to get our needs met.

You don't have what they want, it's nothing personal on Shalavee.com

We’re all operating with different motivations, different GASs. What I’ve got to offer you may have nothing to do with your GAS (give-a-shoot). I have to look at this one. While my GAS is to be published and the publisher’s GAS is to find something that fits their criteria, if I submit something that they don’t perceive as being a β€œgood fit” for their publication’s needs, that’s not to be interpreted as my writing was bad. I ran into this wall too much the last time I went to submit my work but this next round, I’m hoping to find better magazines/publications that fit my genre. And then I need my submission numbers to beat the odds.

Sometimes people are having a bad day and you aren’t what they need to make it better. I walked into a restaurant and the waitperson who met me at the door was curt. I wanted to be offended and focus on how customer service needed to include a smile and an AOk attitude. But I decided to let it go. Because it wasn’t about me. The following lunch was delightful because I lead with my positive attitude.

You don't have what they want, it's nothing personal on Shalavee.com

So often, we are all rushing about tripping over each others egos. Taking offense over things that aren’t about us and applying these offenses back to our worth. We have to be very very careful who we give power to in this world. I certainly don’t want to spend all my good energy today on the person who gave me bad service in a drive-through food line. Just because they are having a bad day doesn’t mean I should too.

If you want to be successful at what you do, or even in what you are doing today, you need to figure out who the people are that want what you’ve got to give. Who does give-a-shoot about you and what you have to offer because you are giving to them in a way that makes them happy too. It’s complicated but it isn’t. Once you know everything isn’t about you, you can then focus on making a specific set of things about you and making other people’s lives better as well as your own. In the end, your happiness is what runs, or ruins, your world. Honor that by keeping it separate from the people you deal with daily and allow them to be free of your judgement as well.

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  1. So when I read you, and spontaneous tears of truth come into my eyes, I just have to pause my day an marvel at the blessings. I am so grateful, that in your humility and self- examination you are mining such truth and wisdom from the universe and your experience. it takes my breath away, makes me laugh out loud and spirals me into a quiet muse that makes me misty, about my mother.
    She would have just loved your spirit, your laugh, the risks you take to live an authentic life and the questions you pose. She would have delighted in the opportunity to share a cuppa (and probably a cigarette) around a table to compare notes. Her initial pathway to self-examination was Dr. Wayne Dyer. But she launched from there.
    Oah Shoot, tears streaming now. Thank God its early and no one else is here. You and this blog are often a bridge to mentally place me next to her chatting about the confusing mechanics of being human. There was none like her, but I will certainly say the same for you.
    And that GAS acronym- sheer, delightful brilliance. I just can not wait to ask Larry, Wilbur or Dan sometime: “Just what is Your GAS priority, gentleman? Or is that your GAS< sir??

    Happy Friday– Much Love

    1. That my gift to you Sue is good memories of your Mom, I am so very glad. Since I adore you, I’m certain I’d have a blast sitting at the kitchen table with coffee and a smoke talking life and growth with her! I am humbled to be placed in the same string of words as her. And I need you in that same way. To mirror back to me my abundance and kick ass-ness. That’s my GAS to keep this up.
      Thank you so very much for this gift Sue.

  2. This is an absolutely brilliant post Shalagh. Very wise words indeed. Applies to all of us, and worth us all remembering. We’d perhaps all be a lot happier, or at least less dissatisfied, if we really internalised this.

    1. So glad you visited and read Vanessa . We would be a lot happier not trying to mind read and apply everyone’s mood to us daily. And the GAS thing, we’d have a leg up if we could figure our own out sometimes.

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