Yesterday and Today, I did what I said I was going to do. I attended three classes so far in an effort to take all of the classes I can in a week. This is part of a bigger plan to turn back the clock to the point before I felt fat and old and scared. My coping mechanisms to drink more wine isn’t working. And essentially, my son told me calling myself old was getting old.
As I was in the exrcise class feeling my knees scream doing squats, I remembered that I had made a declaration some months ago before school let out. My intention was to channel my fittest 35 year old self and to partner her with my 20 something who pampered her beautiful self. These are parts of me that I remember and kinda like so it oughtn’t be as hard to incorporate them as it was when I had to heal my inner creative child. And I have considered my rebellious inner teen has a purpose as well.
And I remembered thinking yesterday, what would I do if I was courting myself ? Creating self-love needs to go both ways. It needs to be about feeling loving toward yourself but also about creating the actions that feel self-loving. Giving myself accomplishments to be proud of. Like my 100 Day Project for 2019. And yes, pampering yourself with pedicures but also taking you to the doctor to have that pain looked at. And going to the gym to create positive changes in your routine and body.
Love is about respect not bullying. It’s a conscious effort to make the other person feel seen and taken care of and safe. So this is me holding that conscious and compassionate space for my inner daughter plus her older inner sisters. And hoping to let the inner old lady have a seat somewhere to knit and pet her cats.
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