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Fear’s Worst Casualty is Hope

Today was a breakthrough day for me. A gorgeous June day with a breeze that lifted your spirit upwards. So I went out to the backyard and I gardened. Not a big deal to anyone else but a huge deal to me. I haven’t allowed myself to garden in a long time. And this decision has just left me feeling hopeless. For years.Fear's Worst Casualty on Shalavee.com

The cause has been so many things, but mostly, I gave up. Fear of not doing it well enough or not having the talent, time, money, or whatever other lie fear will tell you and “see ya’ later” soul gratifying thing. I then slipped into a hopelessness cloud for which I have found no escape. That is until today when I walked outside and began again.

By far the cruelest thing our fear brain does to us while it’s trying to keep us safe, is to rob us of hope. Hope is the breeze on which we fly to the future. But our fear brains think that to keep us safe from harm, they must keep us away from anything that may change us or our lives. Change is bad and hope insinuates change. So therefore, hope is out.

To rob a person of their hope is to give them a living walking death sentence. Without hope, you are just a zombie going through the motions. This is the cruelest of sentences to pass on someone especially yourself and yet, many are the years when I have felt the hopelessness spread over months without a reprieve.Fear's Worst Casualty on Shalavee.com

And yet, the smallest spark can be made from a word or a comment or a thought that you “could”. And then the dimmest light of hope is lit inside for an outcome that is different. A craving for a change and the way that might impact your life in even the smallest way. A hope for unity and purpose. A hope for quieting the chaos and for connection and calm.

And it all starts with pulling a few weeds and moving a few worms.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

My Empty Box Method

When I had to shut my business down (See the post about Bally Eden) and bring the contents of my shop home, all my stuff ended up in boxes piled to the ceiling of the garage. I advertised a yard sale and set to work sorting through my stuff. And what I realized yet again, was that your plan needs an empty box or space to sort into. When you have one foot nailed to the ground, it’s an sign that you may need to open up a new space to sort and move you and your thoughts into. So I cleared a corner and placed empty boxes there and began.

I am moving into a different space of possibilities. Like an empty box I put there in my brain so that I could move my thoughts on and sort them into. The shift was from impossibility to probability. And the room opened up. There’s more room to work with. There’s comfortable spots to have a seat with myself and intuit my next step.My Empty Box Method on Shalavee.com

When I have an auto-fearful thought, I challenge its validity, I write it out in my journal, I call a friend, and I engage in compassion and creativity hard to not let that thought become the thought/feeling/action triangle that shuts me down.

When I see that I am drowning in too many possibilities and too many options, I am taking time to sort through and put aside what I can’t do now. And question what I think I should do as opposed to what I want to do. And I’m packing this stuff away in boxes. Because sometimes just letting something sit for a while and returning to it later can provide enough perspective to know exactly what to do with it.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I May Still Be a Runner Yet

A while back, I wrote a post titled, I’m No Longer a Runner. I bemoaned the fact that my apparent SI joint malformation was increasing in pain and that it may stop me cold from doing the one thing that had always been my happy exercise: running. Because when we are faced with chronic pain, we think we have to give up hope. We begin to compromise and make due and tell ourselves there are other ways we can be happy. Never an excuse to stop following the breadcrumbs to our wellness but it slows us down with the not knowing.

I am happy to say that I am running again. The steroid injections eventually helped, although it seemed like a long time for them to kick in. I can take Ibuprofen and go for a run/walk and my affected joint only aches. I can totally settle for that because these early Summer days are exquisite and all I want to do is go running and huff the heady lemony scent of magnolias in bloom.I may still be a runner yet on Shalavee.com

I think sometimes we get to worrying and apprehending the future, especially if it includes pain, and we try to come up with solutions that if we were to buy, would solve all the dissonance. If I didn’t want to be a runner, than not running would be fine. Except it isn’t, because in my heart of hearts, I am still a runner. I love the breeze and the smells. The rhythm and honesty of it. And I love that I trust myself to just start and stop and go where I want. Running is such a longstanding part of me that I hope I can keep doing it for a long time.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

How to Knock Fear off Your Brain Hill

If you’ve read anything on self-development and personal growth, you know that fear figures prominently in messing your life goals up. Fear takes on many shapes and feelings like anxiety and perfection and is mostly to blame for everything that messes with your life’s satisfaction. Fear knows everything you know and will ask you to not even acknowledge these truths but there it sits, king of your brain hill.

Usually the first suggested exercises to work through and conquer your fears will be to name them. A series of questions will ask you to delve deep and be honest about what you are most afraid of. If your fear protection barrier is really strong, you won’t be able to see the answer to these questions. Your fear is smarter than this. It’ll be too much trouble or you’ll just give the answer you think they are asking for. Your Fear is really tricky that way and sees everything that you see and dodges your understanding of it. How to Knock Fear off Your Brain Hill on Shalavee.com

My thought is that, yes, we need to acknowledge we have fear. Whether we have fear of success or fear of failure is of no true matter, what we really need to know is what we have in our artillery to fight it. Because, to get on to the things we want, there has to be a battle. The more we succumb to our fears and stay in paralysis, the more disgusted we feel with ourselves. In order to feel proud again, we must move forward out of the fear paralysis and into the “Aha, so that’s who I really am” realm. Get to know the us that fear is blocking us from seeing.

I think knowing you have what it takes when the time comes to fight through the fear is tantamount. You need to acknowledge your own intelligence and what you’ve accomplished earlier in times of adversity. You need to know that your are smart and resourceful and that you have a good network of support ready to aid and cheer you on. Your community and your resources are yours to be proud of. This is called self-efficacy.How to Knock Fear off Your Brain Hill on Shalavee.com

And most of all, I think we need to believe that the Universe is For Us and not Against Us . People want you to succeed. Or perhaps the people who matter want you to succeed. You are only required to give yourself permission beyond the initial fear to find out how far your dream can progress. And then you’ll know what it’s like to say “I can”.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Is It Harder to Give Up on You or Give You a Chance?

At any given moment, we have at least these two choices : we can set to work on the tasks we see ourselves in need of accomplishing to get to where we think we want to go. Or we can give up on ourselves and decide the effort is not worth it. Or we’re not worth the effort. When you don’t feel worthy of the effort, you live a lifetime of giving up.

I asked myself, what is more difficult, giving up or giving yourself a chance? You’d think that working toward something , be it a better life or self-esteem or relationship with yourself would be harder work than giving up. But I think the opposite is true.Is It Harder to Give Up on You or Give You a Chance? on Shalavee.com

It’s hard work resigning yourself to your lack of worth for the effort. Believing in your complete lack of value is the hardest most painful work of all. To continue to endure your devaluation of yourself is very tough to do and yet, this is what it means to have low self-esteem. Everyday you resign yourself to being less than. You tell yourself you aren’t worth the effort. You recreate what you believe the world told you when you were little.

 

When you don’t feel worthy of the effort,

you live a lifetime of giving up.

 

I stayed in abusive relationships because I didn’t feel worth the effort to leave. I gave up everyday on me and my need to find happiness. But the staying was so much more work than the leaving eventually ended up being. Perpetuating hopelessness is exhausting.Is It Harder to Give Up on You or Give You a Chance? on Shalavee.com

Telling the truth is actually way easier that maintaining a lie. I chose to recognize that the relationship was a reflection of my bad self-worth. And that I was choosing to keep myself in pain with it and I could be done and no longer choose it. Life got immensely easier after that. And I discover that every time I work hard towards a goal which I’m excited about, the thrill and pride I feel for myself show that was the easiest work I could have done.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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