A discussion arose between me and another member of my family about how to reward children and, perhaps, people in general. He contended that people should be rewarded for their efforts. And I stand for the idea that people should be rewarded for their character out of love.

Many people are currently rotten parents to themselves. They persist in perpetual striving for their enoughness but never achieve it. Keeping on to just keep on isn’t much fun. The rewards are always short lived if we need to get back to the grindstone and the bottomless pit of never enough.

Children subjected to perpetual not enoughness will burn out. Ask them to achieve for you because your love depends on it and you’ve lost so many opportunities for the intangible place in the middle. The creation of the “trust fund” between you which is the back bone for self-confidence and a true relationship.

Unconditional love is the only truth and necessary. It creates real deep wise people. No matter what, even in failure, “I will always love you” will lead to more wins than any amount of perks or bucks or incentives ever will.

So this lesson is about the compassion, tolerance, and love that we give not only to our loved ones but to ourselves. If we can not trust ourselves with our own care, but instead recreate an abusive relationship with our bodies and our minds, we continue to support the systems in this world that no longer work for us. Plus, it’s just plain mean.

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