I had a freakout yesterday. A “their oranges and my apples” kind of moment not dissimilar to the one I had the day I went to the library looking for permission to become a writer. Then, overwhelmed by the walls surrounding me filled with books and magazines written by a multitude of published people, I wanted to give up. Stop and not try. But I stood there and said,”You’re going to write something too.” And I still am years later.
Yesterday, I opened an email from an organization that is the penultimate of bloggers training and incubation. Alt Summit was looking for guest posters. And the list of subject topics proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a certified know nothing when it comes to the actual practice of blogging. I deemed myself inadequate and that was that.
I’ve been blogging for just about three years. In fact today is that anniversary. And still, I am more than clueless about this process. Like learning a foreign language and simultaneously cruising around in a wheelchair for the first time, I’m dangerously listing to one side about to topple over because my brain can’t handle all the input.
My learning curve keeps expanding out in front of me. Like that pull focus Hitchcock trick in the movies where the hall suddenly gets 30 feet longer and you feel like you’ve been running in place, I’m not getting anywhere and the end of the hall is further than when I started.
I have thought of the bloggers who started ahead of me as the Producers. They’ve been given the magic spells to unlock the secret blog success formula. They progress with capabilities and rate sheets. They have sponsors, followers, methods, platforms. And they’re super nice which makes it better and worse.
As I move from my closet woodwork and befriend my big sisters, I can not help but still feel that my trick bag is empty. The only certainty I have is that I write compelling well written content. This I know. Which is a big something. The rest, the deserving and the wherefores of branding, I’m working on these as I speak. There’s no tidy little package to offer or pill to take to suddenly know it all. Sorry, Charlie.
I’m messy and long winded. But I’m inspired every day to share what interests me with a faceless audience. Weird, huh? I may have to act like a buffoon but move on I must. So I puzzle out my place, my worth, my path one day, one post, and one communication at a time.
I am nothing if not ever hopeful. Do I wish my learning curve was less steep? Yes. Do I believe I have less to bring than everyone else? Nope. I just need to do a lot of hard work, see me for me, and ask to receive a little help from the producers.