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Connecting the Parts

Last Summer, I agreed with the small girl inside me that she needed my help to heal. And together, we acknowledged her needs and demands to be allowed to create and play. I participated in creative challenge after creative challenge until reestablished trust with my inner child around the need for play.My adult and child parts were beginning to reconnect.

I have felt a need to heal another part of myself recently. She was the teen me who was so daring, took chances, and showed the world what she was made of. She was intoxicating and dangerous, crafty and self-sufficient. And I’ve been missing her a lot recently. Connecting my parts on Shalavee.com

Seems that we need to acknowledge that we are multifaceted and each part of us formed at different times in our lives, needs to work together as a team. If we don’t, and don’t trust ourselves to play well and negotiate our needs kindly, we will always be at a deficit. I have been working hard for years to understand what it is I’ve been saying to myself and I’m just getting to the point where I am beginning to trust my own choices, my reliability, and my compassion.

There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves

and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.” ~ Brian Andreas ~

We are all our own leaders. We need to find a way to work well within ourselves so that we may continue on trusting our own voices telling us what we need, what we’re passionate about, and hearing what others are saying, good and bad, so that we may make the best decisions about what we need to do next. Lead ourselves on through our own personal terrains.

I am not fearless nor fearsome. My fear is there but it need not run the show anymore. It can witness me making these continual choices to be kind to my inner child and embrace the passion of my teen self. And when the time comes for me to be done, I can tell fear thanks for the help but I’m glad I did it my way after all.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Let Me Tell You Where I am Now

Let me tell you where I am now.

I’m sitting in my craft room. My laptop is in front of me and I’m perusing my journal trying to grab on to something of interest to write about. I’m good with the writing as long as I’m interested in the subject.

In an hour, Fiona will descend the yellow school bus stairs for only the second time. Her Pre-K year has begun. Let me tell you where I am now on Shalavee.com

Let me tell you what Pre-K means to me

I was a new blogger when I got pregnant with her. So the blog and my writing talents have been worked on and developed parallel with her growing up. Like the blog is her sister. Except, were you to ask me if the she or the blog comes first, it would probably always be her. The trick was to not use raising her as an excuse to not continue my writing the blog if just to keep up the practice.

Let me tell you what that means

Now in the light of having time rolling out in front of me to get down to some deeper and more intensive writing. I’m freaking out. In a good way and a bad way.

Of course, I’m ecstatic because having time to myself is the one thing I crave beyond really good food and entertainment. I’m giddy and gearing up to find out what I really do think about hope and healing and good change in my soul. Conversely, I’m terrified that I’ll squander this time I’m being gifted by laying down and letting my fear keep me from showing up. Paralysis in the face of progress and vulnerability has been an MO before.Let me tell you where I am now on Shalavee.com

Let me tell you what I’m doing differently

I got a book out of the library that had been recommended to me titled Deep Work by Cal Newport. The idea is that the world is on this awful slide to promote the shallow. This means that people who do deeper more thoughtful work are going to be needed more than ever as people’s brains start to shortcut and short-circuit for lack of proper usage. I am betting that I have some pretty cool stuff inside me that I need time and flow to find out. And all the methods and techniques I gleaned from this book will be put into use to guarantee that I hedge my bets on success. You kinda need a game plan to keep yourself engaged. Our brains are feeble as well as untapped.

Let me tell you, I’m scared

When we attempt to be our truest selves, there may be shrieking harpie voices that tell us we’ll die if we continue. That’s just the primitive part of our brain kicking in to keep ourselves safe from tigers and social ridicule. In that moment when we accept or don’t accept the emotions as fact, we could get to move on and gain confidence in the fact that we were vulnerable and did it anyway. That’s the story I want to be telling.

My daughter faced her first day at Pre-K. That’s some pretty scary stuff. Each of us and the fears that we face are specific to where we are. First day of Middle school, high school, college, and getting married all include scary unknown factors that seem insurmountable to us at that point in our lives. But it’s all relative. We just need to acknowledge our inner compass and keep moving.

Hope this give you perspective. On me or you, doesn’t matter. We all need a little perspective every once in a while.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Understanding Fear with the Help of Rhonda Britten

I have long been a big fan of Rhonda Britten, one of the life coaches from the Starting Over television series on TLC 15 years ago or so. You can Read about the trick I learned from her co-coach Iyanla Vanzandt in this post titled How To Change Your Life : Feel As If the Thing Has Happened. I recently searched for Ms. Britten and found her amazing work continues inside the Fearless Living Institute where she has a life coach training course as well. I promptly signed up for her emails and requested her book titled Change Your Life in 30 Days from the library. And I am knee-deep into some good stuff now that I thought to share.

My chasing of my tail is maddening. The ideas are there and the joy and the creativity are all a solid part of me. But then, bang, I bump my head into the fear. Or what turns out to be fear disguised in confusion and feelings that make me think there’s something wrong with me when there isn’t.Understanding Fear with the help of Rhonda Britten on Shalavee.com

In her e-book The 25 tricks of Fear which I received for signing up to the emails, Rhonda has briefly provided a new light into what our fear is really doing with us and I must say, it’s a whole different perspective. Within the oldest part of our brains, the amygdala is the fear ring master. Initially the amygdala was wired to keep us safe but now, in the absence of tigers, our anxiety emotion is overused. The fear we feel doesn’t have the decency to be straight up. It hides behind the symptoms of worry, suffering, and hesitation, all making us think it’s our laziness and my lack of focus or talent that has us failing. Emotions become facts become reasons to avoid these triggers…which is essentially anything that makes you uncomfortable.

This is not my incompetency but my reptilian fear brain running the show like the great and powerful Oz behind the curtain. Fear gets me to feel these distraction feelings by whispering lies about my abilities and how I’m perceived. It tells me I’m no good and I’m unacceptable. And then it’s done it’s job to keep me safe, no hard feelings.Understanding Fear with the help of Rhonda Britten on Shalavee.com

Understanding the subterfuge of the fear feels like hope. It’s like pulling back from the movie to realize there’s a screen. Or finding a magic decoder ring. And if there isn’t one thing I consider solid gold emotion, it’s hope. So one step removed is one step gained. I’m over it already and am gathering the next round of knowledge to battle my way back to myself in my own confident armor. There are always new tricks to be learned.

Go here to peruse some great blog posts from Fearless Living.Org and sign up for the newsletters if you want to receive the 25 tricks of fear. I’ll keep sharing my discoveries with you no matter.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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