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Joy May Be Purpose Enough

So much emphasis is put on making sure you live your life purposefully. When I find my purpose, my life will make sense. I must take the Purpose challenge because I’m missing out until I find this Eureka information that will reveal my life’s path with the biggest AHA I have ever uttered ! But somehow, this quest eludes my everyday plodding. It’s all so importantly complicated.

But it occurs to me, complicated may not be the answer. That even the most simple intentions can be profound. The cool breeze coming through the window is simply a breeze but comparatively, it is a blessing to be alleviated from the hot weather we’ve endured. Sometimes the simplest elements and gestures have exponential meaning.

Then it occurred to me that living joyfully and sharing this joy so that others may have permission to feel and do the same, may be purposeful enough. To model the pursuit of joyful existence is mind-blowingly simple; pursue happiness. Is this not, at our cores, our truest purpose. Just to be happy, darn it.Joy May Be Purpose Enough on Shalavee.com

I have always made life way too complicated. There were never any givens. I had to do it my way, the hard way, faithlessly overzealously scrabbling to get it all done right. It never occurred to me to focus on the here and now and see if that was fulfilling and purposeful enough. I assumed it wasn’t.

So today my act of purposefulness is to ask myself what brings me joy. And to acknowledge all the ways that I am going to bring that into my life. And then commit to my joy like it is a matter of life and death. Because I think it is in the end.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

I’m Too Much and Not Enough

I often catch myself thinking paradoxical “all or nothing thoughts”. Recently, I heard myself saying, “ I’m too much” and then I realized, I’m also “not enough”. How can I be both at the same time? Or do they neutralize one another? That is what I am now deciding.

Since I was small, I always felt too big. I have always been loud which makes people feel like shushing me. I understood that boys liked pretty girls, not brash girls. That children should be seen and no heard. I had such deep fears and passions, I felt the disapproval when I was bucking the status quo, thinking outside the box. And now I feel like I have been silently grieving the disparate gap between who I knew myself to be and who I tamped myself down to be.I'm Too Much and Not Enough on Shalavee.com

But there is also the part of me that thinks I am not enough. I am not savvy, smart, brave, driven, or thin enough. There is never enough time or money to truly have what I am. And my want will never be filled. Because I don’t want it enough.

I am searching and longing for the me in the middle who is exactly where she needs to be. Who can take up the space she already occupies and who is allowed, nay is destined to take up a bigger space in her world. A gal who neither to big or too small but just right.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Our Ability to Change is Not about Willpower

(This is a repost from a year and a half ago. I forget myself, my writing, and my truth until I read my pieces and say “Heck Ya!”. Enjoy.)

If it were a matter of willpower, we’d all be willing ourselves into success and abundance and skinniness. Yes your ability to change starts with your intent and your why but after that there’s a trick to do what you want. Your belief in your worthiness and your self-trust are what’s standing between you and what you want. And your fear is what’s in charge until they are.

I detest the formulas out there to my success which depend on me “just doing it”. I see and read so much about your ability to change your life and your plethora of choices and I want to scream, “Your missing the part where I believe I can and I’m worth it”. My low self-esteem might have been called out but it is by no means been completely reversed.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

If I don’t trust myself as reliable, honorable, and capable of following these steps to success and achievement, I am not starting. I already know I’ll fail myself. Why would I want to put myself through that over and over. It’s easier to assume I can’t than to bear the pain of starting and then discovering (surprise!) that I can’t follow through.

At the beginning, we are either worth the effort or we’re not. We claim we know that of course we are worth it but many people feel unworthy of so much secretly. The world has shown them they aren’t worthy. Their parents just weren’t there or asked them to be someone other than who they knew they were. The opportunities they saw other people getting were not offered to them. And layer upon layer upon layer of unworthiness build up. Until giving up is way less painful than trying.

Our Ability to Change is Not About Willpower on Shalavee.com

I have held a campaign for self-trust for myself for some time. As in over five years consciously. It is a steep hill to climb and yet, I am finally at the point where I am feeling the scales tipping. Witness my feeling of I can vs I can’t in this recent piece.

Life is a “Do It Yourself Project” of the largest degree. And every facet of your life and perception is malleable, changeable. Every thought we have is subject to our own scrutiny of validity. And in this introspective process, a noble self-respecting way of thinking arises. And through that, the understanding that our relationship with ourselves, our self-care, and our honor are all of our own doing.

Somehow, we need to grab ahold of the concept that we are all undeniably worth our own mercy and we then begin again. The nobility of beginning again is fathomless. And the wonder of our own faulted humanity is held by everyone, especially the person who’s holding your hand when you decide you are worth the effort.

If you enjoyed what you read, please subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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