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Ignore Your Brain, Feel Your Feels

This week, I had a really bad spell of the feels. I finished up my creativity workshop and instead of feeling that amazing “I did it” feeling, I felt like an impostor. Who was I to think I had anything to say about creativity? And then, why did I put myself in this jeopardy? And PS, this is the same doubt spell I had at the end of my creativity/anxiety sermon I gave at my church.

So I rolled around for a day feeling really crappy. Letting all the silly mean stuff rip around in my head. Grieving the marvelous feelings I was supposed to feel in conjunction with doing activities that are directly related to my perceived purpose. My inner daughter was mad at me for not keeping her safe from all the judgment she was sure she had coming her way from me and everyone who witnessed my outright failure. And me infuriated by the fact that all the apparent work I have done on my esteem doesn’t add up to a hill of beans.Ignore Your brains, feel your

I went online to publicly claim my intentions to go see my doctor about anti-anxiety meds. And to hopefully claim my wobbliness in the hopes that someone else would find permission for themselves to do the same. I am glad I heard my heart tell me that I need something else other than I am doing to get me beyond. And I am keeping my brain in a time out for overacting in such a way.

But the most interesting postlude is the way my community came out to witness me. Many people truly wanted to provide the fix. Could it be lack of light or menopause? I had beautiful offers to talk and I informed everyone that have a therapy appointment coming soon. Because again the most traumatizing part of this whole thing is that I’ve done so very much work, why do I have to endure these episodes anymore?Ignore Your brains, feel your

In the end, I find out that there a lot of people who care about me and I do not take that lightly. It’s hard to be accountable to so many people so I am just going to be accountable to myself but I hope that, at some point, I can see what everyone sees in me. Because I think that would help tremendously in keeping this kind of thing from happening in the future. Or perhaps not but I like to think there’s a solution. Acceptance, compassion, and love from me to you to me again.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Creativist or Consumerist : Which one are You?

I believe that you are choosing to live your life on one of two paths. You are either living your life as a Creativist or as a Consumerist. And this is how this story and the dawning of my understanding between creativism and consumerism unfolded. I made friends with fellow uber-creative Olivia Sprinkel via Instagram. And I see in her bio she calls herself a creativist. I ask her what’s this?

She answers, “Hello! I saw a friend’s Facebook post about Eddie Izzard, an English comedian who asked ‘Are you a capitalist or creativist?’

I’m not a capitalist, I am a creativist. I want to make money so that I can create things. Suddenly all these people have come along who want to create things so they can make money.” – Eddie Izzard –

She says,”I really liked the word so ended up building out my own definition of creating + connecting + acting .”Creativist or Consumerist on Shalavee.com

So I read Olivia’s Manifesto on Creativism and I am hooked ! In her manifesto, The Creativist Manifesto : Consumer or Creativist ? , I began to understand what I had already known in my gut. Our system of capitalism and consumerism is destructive. It’s disingenuous and abusive. It does not value the individuality of the creative. 

I summed up my initial understanding of creativism in this post. Citing work by Author Orna Ross, another great resource for understanding creativism. The consumer wants to own or destroy what can’t be owned. This a masculine state of being whereas the creative state is the feminine. In this state we experience flow. We are responsible for our own happiness. We see the relativity of all experiences and input. We seek to work together as a collective to create a better outcome.Creativist or Consumerist on Shalavee.com

The way we perceive and use our minds differently in relation to these modes, Ms. Ross refers to as The Con-Mind verses the Creative Mind. That we are in different mind modes when we are creating as opposed to fixing and surviving and worrying is absolute. From my own research on anxiety and creativity, it is physically impossible to have an anxiety attack and be in creative flow at the same time. Physically, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous systems can not be engaged at the same time.

The initial understanding of what we are being asked to do to fit in and survive leaves me numb. Our inner children are outraged at the crimes we are committing by denying our creativity. And only in valuing our individuality and ingenuity will we not only be happier beings but we’ll begin to truly create a sustainable existence. I hope this sparked you to ask more questions abut this subject. Awareness is the first chapter to change.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Why I’m OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop

If I had a dime for every time I heard, “Oh Shalagh you are so creative”, I’d at least have five bucks. This became one of those phrases that made me twitch perhaps because I didn’t think of myself as having any kind of creative superpowers which was obvious to them but not to me, until it finally was. I think perhaps what they meant was they wished they knew the secret creative permission spell too.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Fast forward to the past several years when I intentionally indulged myself in creative challenges to gain creative confidence. I followed many of my creative curiosities until I finally owned that I was an Uber-creative. And I am beginning to understand that I believe in creative living aka Creativism as a way of life, one that is at odds with the consume and destroy mode of existence I see all too much of.

So if there is a purpose to my life, one of the facets seems to be sharing my creativity with others so that they too have permission to create.  To this end, I am offering a creativity workshop locally this Fall because I believe that everyone can benefit, and perhaps heal, from increased creativity in their lives.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

Each of us looks to understand ourselves based on our interaction with the world. The advertising propaganda would have us believe conformity and possession would be our best safe bet to easy existence. But in fact, we crave to understand our uniqueness through our interactions. We long to be carefree, to be unique and yet connected to our community at the same time. We want self-confidence that comes from owning our own uniqueness and perspective. Not only are these human needs, they are only a few of the many benefits of creativity.

Somehow, as we become older, we conform to the idea that creativity will get us outcast from the tribe. That we need to focus only on the earning of money and security for our family. My hope is that by opening up a conversation with people, and consequently they with themselves, the tantalizing benefits will begin to tickle people slightly out of their fear zones so that they may try creativity in small bursts in their lives. A little creativity in one’s life is better than none. And the money people can save by ceasing to try to find themselves by spending rather than creating will make it an even more enticing proposition.Why I'm OK Teaching a Creativity Workshop on Shalavee.com

My final realization is that I don’t have to be a “professional” artist to legitimize my knowledge and experience around creativity. I can be a small “a” artist. I only need to acknowledge that I am creative and share what I feel and know to be my truth around this process as it relates to my growth and development as a more rounded human being. I can honestly say that the permission I have given myself to create has created a better happier more confident me. And that is a completely good thing.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your email box. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest  too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

 

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