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The Not Enoughs

I visited my therapist today and we spoke a lot about “The Not Enoughs”. I have a very intimate long-running relationship with them. And they show up a lot in my life and claim jurisdiction on everything from the way I feel about my body to my creative work. Perpetually harassing me with their proclaimed truthful judgments, I forever fall short.

My therapist asked how I was doing with my body image today. I said the Not Enoughs have been in there stomping around. I tried some of my Summer clothing on this past week and declared myself a failure because nothing fit. They suggest that the Noom plan I’m on isn’t cutting it and I should quit already. That’s what they always suggest and it’s never helpful so I declined.The Not Enoughs show up everywhere. Out in the garden or in my craftroom, they badger and bully me about my everything.

The TNE’s are outside in the garden pointing out the unplanted plants and the unweeded beds. They are wearing white gloves in the bedroom shaking their heads. And they are in my craft room wondering loudly why my creative business endeavors are languishing in there.

The question my therapist posed is how would I define myself if I didn’t have the Not Enoughs hanging around like a cloak of doom. What would it take for me to let them go and define myself otherwise. What would it take to be safe enough to be enough? How can I stop nurturing the familiar wound and embrace thoughts of better more fulfilled living.

That is a very good question.

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My Now Normal and What’s to Come

I’m perhaps a little stunned that this year is feeling so much more normal.

The flower garden is growing and asking me for the attention that usually overwhelms me as we head into May, the super busy month. I’d like to have gotten more done before the heat wave hit but I’m hoping for some milder weather again to get outside. It’s a better normal.

However, thankfully I am not overbooked with duties as, like it or not, our life closets have been cleaned out of extraneous activities. And more happily still, personal projects that have been simmering for years on the back burner are about to come to a boil. We could all use that feeling of accomplishment you get when something dreamed of and hoped for comes to fruition.My Now Normal and What's to Come on Shalavee.com

We have a couple vacations planned, and a couple summer camps too, so that feels more like a normal year. And we’re planning a party to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in October giving us and a lot of other people something to look forward to.

So I’m sitting with all of this wondering about how I can take it all in and let it all out and be a big better me all the while. To sit in that sweet spot where you know you are here doing exactly what you are meant to do. And to forgive yourself for ever having doubted.

 

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

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I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

 

Raising Children with an Abundant Mindset

You see the world with what you carry in your heart.”

People who were raised on love see the world differently than those who see the world from survival.”

It has occurred to me that I was raised with a crushing sense of scarcity. A historical hangover from generations of struggle, oppression, and depression. I believed that I would never have enough and that I was not enough. And this is still a mindset I battle daily.

But I felt relieved recently knowing that I am not raising my children with this same scarcity mindset. They have enough. Ask them and maybe they think there’s something else they might want but we have been fortunate enough to create a life where we aren’t prisoners to debt.Raising Children with an Abundant Mindset on Shalavee.com

There was an old movie I watched a long time ago called I Remember Mama. An Norwegian immigrant mother Marta, played by Irene Dunne with the fantastic braid around her head, raises a flock of family. And she keeps telling them life’s not bad enough to dip into the savings (stored in the chimney in a box). So they persevere always sure that old Mama had their backs. When she dies, they discover there’s nothing in the box. Their belief in their positive outcome got them through. And in including cats as characters on movie posters.

I know that, as the mother, I am always setting the positive tone and the hope in the household. I take pride in that and I hold steady the boat in times when it begins to rock. I want my children to feel safe and know that the world will help them when they need it. Because it will if they believe it will. They’ll create that outcome from their belief. 

And perhaps their children will see only the beauty of the world no matter how many times the news points out the ugly. And their love will lift the world up even further through their own positive intentional parenting.

Look at the world with a vision of peace, love, and compassion. Then the whole world will appear loving and peaceful.”

 

Interested in reading my future thoughts on Creative Soul Living?

Enter your name into the subscription box in the sidebar to the right and subscribe to my bi-weekly posts via your emailbox.

Find me on Instagram to view my daily pictures,

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I love community, soulful candid conversation, and being in touch.

And as always, thank you for your visit.

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