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Lost and Found : A High School Reunion

High School reunions are notorious. The thought of being in the same room as the people who you well know were your judge and jurors at a time in your life when you were your prettiest and still didn’t cut you any slack. You see/live in your 30 years and 30 extra pounds and surely, there’s no forgiveness for these crimes. You aren’t going to any reunion. Ever. The end.

And then there’s the real story. This is mine. 30th High school reunion with Amanda, Cathering, and Brigid on Shalavee.com

I went for four primary years to an all girls school, 7th through 10th grades. This was a smart girl school. During my 10th grade year, my father informed me he would no longer be paying for this education. It was intimated that I wasn’t working hard enough to make it worth the expenditure. I was very distracted by boys at the time and maybe he was right. But then again, I didn’t have parents who were together and I got to act out any way I could. It is also very hard on adolescents when you move them from their primary environment and force them out into the street. The message I heard was that I wasn’t worth “it”.

I suffered in-completion nightmares for years even though I knew I’d graduated from college already. I was happily back graduating with them in the tight-knit community that would be their 12th grade experience. 

I made do with a year at a public high school and requested a transfer to college a year early only needing two credits to graduate high school. I was on a college campus at 16.

30th High School reunion on Shalavee.com

Eventually I graduated from college and moved on and up and out of the city. But I never lost that feeling of being lost from that place in my life. Displaced. I would never feel what it was like to walk across the stage and be handed a diploma. Or be asked to a reunion. No completion.

And as I have worked hard to find my truest self these days, I heard about a 30th year reunion for this same high school. And then, I happened upon the yearbook online for that year. There was even a page dedicated to those of us who were lost along the way. Lost at Sea as there was a nautical motif  going that year. And this made me think about the story I’d been telling myself all these years about no one really caring that I’d disappeared. And now, maybe I needed to edit it.

30th High School reunion on Shalavee.com

It wasn’t that everyone didn’t care that I had left. Kids just accept that stuff happens when parents make decisions about their kids and families and life. No one really knew where I went. But I needed to find myself to be found. And to be proud of who I have become. Which I really am. All the hard work and writing has made me such a better clearer stronger person. Someone who could walk in to a room full of strangers and become friends again. And that’s just what I did.

Last Saturday night, I drove an hour and a half to show up to the fabulous house of a woman I used to go to high school with. Her girls were the same age as my boy and I could not have felt more welcomed. Over and over, each and every woman who I saw that night was sweet and kind and we all agreed that it was as if time hadn’t passed. We all were healthy and exuberant and young. Even for thirty years later. And I remarked, thirty years more and we’d all be excited to still be standing.

Marion, Me, and Debbie at the 30th High School reunion on Shalavee.com

My new story is that I got lost along the way and I found myself in the lost and found box. And I was returned to my rightful place with these gals all on their parallel journeys to see where life and motherhood will take us. It was really just that easy.

 

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Pretend with Pinterest

In an attempt to keep moving forward, I follow and read lots of different blogs. One I read is written by a reputable business coach who suggested beginning a Pinterest page to conceive of your ideal day. It’s called vision boarding. If you visualize it, it is more likely to happen. As much as I wanted to say “Heck Yeah”, simultaneously I was all like Bill Cosby with my, “Riiiiggghhht”. Ideal days are a fantasy when your reality is a poopy diaper and the bad attitude that proceeds it.

Although my sarcasm got the better of me, I figured we could all have a little fun today. So here’s my ideal day portrayed in Pinterest pictures. It’s pretend with Pinterest.

Let’s say it’s 20 years from now in the year 2034. (Yeah well 2000 seemed unreal when we were 15 but it eventually came if you were lucky enough to live to see it.)

It’s a beautiful fall morning in 2034 and I’m getting my hair professionally dyed and styled at some ridiculously hip expensive salon.

Pretend with Pinterest from Shalavee.com

Professional dye Job and styling

And they’re also apparently doing some botox and secret anti-aging voodoo there too. And they’re serving nice wine.But it’s too early for that. No really. So it’s a nice cappuccino instead OK?

I’m also getting my nails done. Something funky and cutting edge for the future. This will be retro then.

nails on pretend with Pinterst on Shalavee.com

When my nails are dry,  it’s time to go see my personal trainer. It could be either a hot guy…

Marc Fitt on my fantasy pinterest day in Shalavee.com

or a very inspirational gal.

personal trainer woman form my fantasy Pinterst day on Shalavee.com

 

(While trolling Pinterest for these pictures, I read a caption which said, “Celebrity Secrets to lose baby weight fast. Ha! -meal service -nanny -house cleaner -personal trainer -photoshop for starters-” Keeping it real. But back to fantasy reality).

I grab a shower and my devoted hubby picks me up in whatever car is his fantasy and takes me on a gourmet picnic. Because maybe it’s our anniversary and we’re making up for the lost celebration time from 20 years earlier.

gourmet rare roast beef sandwiches

Rare roast beef sandwiches, YUM. And whatever the heck this raspberry wonderment is.

yummy desert from my ideal Pinterest Day on Shalavee.com

Back at home, with a little buzz from what’s in the mason jar with the out-of-season raspberries, cute plumber boy shows a little butt crack while installing our new multi-headed shower in our master suite bathroom renovation.

buttcrack plumber on my fantasy Pinterest day on Shalavee.com

Because I need more reasons to ogle handsome young men’s bodies in this post. And the husband’s getting lucky tonight.

Late in the afternoon, I drive to DC to meet with my Book Agent and planning team about the upcoming book tour I’ll be embarking on.

book agent type on my ideal Pinterest day on Shalavee.com

Happy to help literary team  on my ideal Pinterest day on Shalavee.com

As I’m about to go into the meeting, my oldest calls to tell us he’s officially made his first million on his video game creations.

He’s got stock and stuff.

video games millionaire on my ideal pinterest day on Shalavee.com

And he’s also giving a piano concert at Radio City Music Hall next month.

concert piano on my ideal pinterst day on shalavee.com

Then it’s dinner at a new hip fine dining restaurant in DC and attendance to the opening for my artwork at

the National Museum of Women’s Arts museum.  

National Museum of Women's Arts on my ideal Pinterest day on shalavee.com

While waiting for our table at the bar, the other kid call to tell me she’s gotten her Master’s Degree paid for

by the Foundation she’s been doing

groundbreaking research for in genetics and cancer.

National Museum of Women's Arts on my ideal Pinterest day on shalavee.com

As if my perfect day couldn’t get any better, then Oprah texts me that we’re on for dinner at either her house in Hawaii

or the one in the South somewhere, to chat about the top secret project we’re working on. Hush. hush.

 Oprah-Winfreys-House- on my Pinterest perfect day on Shalavee.com
oprah's hawaii home on my pinterest perfect day on shalavee.com
oprah and her vision board friend
(For real, this gal on the right actually vision board manifested this meeting with Oprah. Her board post can be found on ItWasOnMyVisionBoard.com  from 3 weeks ago. Weird but true.)
 Oprah also informs me that her buddy Peter Walsh is going to be coming with his fabulous organizing team
to take care of my house chaos next week.
And I’m all in Virgo heaven imagining how much De-cluttering this genius gentleman and his people will help me with.
Peter Walsh and team on my ideal pinterst day on shalavee.com
As if it couldn’t get any better, Tina Fey emails me to ask if I have any edits on that script she sent and when am I flying out to go junk shopping and flea marketing.
(Don’t know if Tina Fey likes to junk shop but I can’t imagine she doesn’t.)
tina fey on my ideal pinterst day on shalavee.com

See, our kids went to the same colleges and we happened to meet on a parent weekend. And now we’re like that.

And she’s the kind of gal who gives you grounding crazy spirited advice. So yeah, we’re tight.

Tina fey on my ideal Pinterest day on shalavee.com

And I check into a swanky 4 star hotel in DC (can you say hotel sex is as good as make-up sex?) thinking how lucky I am to be living my dream. Thank goodness for vision boards or I would have never manifested this incredible life I’m living. After our romp, my husband passes out and I swill my champagne, pinch myself, zap on the cable for a couple minutes, and pass out with complimentary pistachio chunks in my teeth. Perfect end to a perfect day.

 

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The What To Do Syndrome

It hit me as I was doing that treadmill thing I couldn’t this morning, I’m suffering from the “waiting around for someone to tell me what to do” syndrome. I read, and noted somewhere, women seem to wait for someone else’s permission to follow their hearts and make their goals. Be it writing that great novel or learning how to tap dance, many of us are good girls and as such, we wait our turn and do what’s expected of us. We are the supporting cast. While it smarts to name it, I can truly own it. Seems I need permission for my dreams.

The What To Do Syndrome on Shalavee.com

I feel like I’m waiting for the perfect someone, someone who can just figure me out and then tell me what to do. Then I’ll have a map of how to move on. I’m still stuck in a phase of perpetual possibility. I gather and gather information of what ifs and stay in a state of overwhelmed but informed confusion. I say I don’t have enough time and perspective to gain a good overview of my “what ifs”. But I suspect it’s that I’m afraid and not allowed to grant myself permission to choose something, anything and move on. I need to be perfectly defined before I move on.

The What To Do Syndrome on Shalavee.com

What I want to be doing is telling others what I see myself to be and if they’d like to support me, great. Proudly showing my view of my life, however flawed or wrongly directed it is, and invite people to follow my journey and support me and interact with me along the way. Because life is a lonely journey but it isn’t. Everyone that has come and commented has contributed to my journey. Everyone. My new motto needs to be ‘Go ahead and do it even if it’s wrong and drag witnesses with you.’ Although I wouldn’t be adverse to some professional coaching at any time, I think I need to just decide some stuff and move it, move it.

 

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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