I’m calling the Hippo that is laying in my progress road Hilda. She is the reason that I can not seem to see or budge my vision of my future as getting paid for anything. Value who? She is wedged across my view. She is in my way. She is the blockage to my progress road. Every time I hear about people following their passions and I see a new e-book that could definitely help me to do all the work around building me and my creative self into a business, I get blocked by Hilda. She is about permission, or the lack thereof.
I have a fear of success not failure. I fear if I start something, I won’t be able to keep it up and eventually I’ll fall on my face. And I fear that the thing that I really want and love to do will be ruined by taking money for it. Because real creatives always give it away for free, right?
When I think about how I used to clean houses for a living, I didn’t have a problem with being compensated. I received honest pay for honest hard necessary work. But somehow I unable to see anything I can do with my immense talents as helpful to other people or worth asking for money.
I am stuck looking at Hilda’s hindquarters, accepting that this is an immovable object. I’ve pinched and poked but to no avail, I see nothing there to move me through her.
What’s the basic negative premise here?
I have nothing of worth to offer anyone.
I don’t know which skills to offer or how.
People don’t really value my work or aesthetics in general.
I’m not technically savvy in arting or writing.
I don’t know how, where, which, what.
My rebuttal. Start it all anyway anyhow all at once. Take pictures, make lists. Pretend like it will all be alright and I’ll bet Hilda will move her butt out-of-the-way while I’m busy concentrating on making art or friends or submitting my writing or drumming up another workshop to teach. There’s no such thing as perfection, just process that will budge the hippo in the way. And you are moving even if you don’t think you are. Anyone else have an immovable hippo in their way of progress? I’ll help shove yours out of the way if you do the same for me.
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Ohhh so you’ve want to create and teach some workshops??? We should talk yes?
By the way. There may be another cultural explanation for Hilda. Consider the recent research posted by Shankar Vedantum, an NPR contributor. His most recent feature is “Why are women less likely to become entrepreneurs than men?” Its a 4 minute listen and offers some context on our social conditioning. Your self-effacing credibility is like conditioned humility, not the blind hubris and bravado of so many … others. 🙂
Well that’s so very interesting. I know the societal brainwashing starts young but “conditioned humility” is intriguing. Thank you Sue for being the friend that I really didn’t understand I had. Talking, yes.
Love to you and yours,
Ha ha! I named my writing block ‘The Scaredy Cat’ and wrote a poem about her to show that I had my eye on her. I hope that naming Hilda has started to give you a purchase on moving some of your blocks too 🙂
Oh I love that you named your writing block The Scaredy Cat. I don’t have the writers block as much as the permission block. My humility seems to trump my ambitions. Thank you so much for reading Claire. It means a lot.