I was about to warm the seat up to take care of a little post breakfast business when several fruit flies went frolicking by my face. They’re happily having a fruit fly family reunion in every room these past couple weeks. All around my onions and potatoes and oranges and whatever else is in my bowls. Because. no, I don’t refrigerate all of my produce.

As a cloud of fruit flies rise up from under the lifted trashcan lid, I imagine I hear them crying out a unified” Weee” in the same weird warbled high voice Vincent Price said “Help me” in the final minute of the original Fly movie.

We have mini bowls of apple cider vinegar perched on our kitchen windowsill to attract them. I think they just use these as lounges to bide their time until the better stuff shows up. Bananas and pineapples and any fruit that may have a compromised stem hole or naval.

I sat down at my dinner table and a cloud burst up from my lovely flower arrangement. Enough already. The grocery store’s produce manager said he thinks it’s location because he’s not having any problem with them where he lives. I actually wanted to ask him if he ate produce or was he putting his bananas in the refrigerator.

Until the season of the fly is over, we’ll continue to take the trash out often, put the bananas under a glass bowl, and cover our wine glasses with our hands. Thinking of inventing wine sippy cups for the fruit fly season. And hope it’s a plus we added to our necessary protein consumption by all the ones that slipped down our gullets unnoticed.

If you have any thoughts, please drop a word below in the comments. Or

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