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You, Me, and Booby Makes Three

Ah the joys of breastfeeding. I don’t know that I’ve ever cared about anyone enough to sacrifice this much of my personal space or to willingly offer up a body part for spontaneous encroachment. Yet here I am. One meal at a time.

Yes Fiona, what’s that you say? You’d like second breakfast? Will that be right booby or left? Very good. Careful not to bruise it there dumpling.

I pointed out to Mark that we were saving money with this feeding method. He said, where once he had to wine and dine these suckers, now they’re saving us money. That is if you put the Similac money away for college.

Yes Fiona, what’s that? You are ready for your pre-lunch snack? Would you like a little truffle oil on that nipple? Maybe followed by an apéritif of booby? Excellent choice.

Fiona’s Favorite book : Good Night Boob

Fiona’s Favorite songs: It’s a Booby Kinda Love

Fiona’s Favorite Word: Boobaliciuos

Fiona’s Favorite Movie: What About Boob

Fiona’s Favorite Drink: Booby straight up with a twist

Nothing can mess with your mind more than the thought of keeping something dear to you alive with a bodily emission you have no control over. This caused a train wreck with my attempt to booby feed my first child.

What’s that Fiona? More booby juice? Did you say please?

But once you, and  your family (read 8-year-old), get over the “ewess-ness” of the deed, you can all relax and lead a semi-normal life. My friend said she saw a mom at the Orlando Universal theme park with a baby hanging off her booby. Everybody’s doing it.

For the record, my boobies are retiring their service before 2014. And hopefully the booby juice will make Fiona super smart and give her the ability to pick nice boyfriends. Ooh, gotta go. The Divine Ms. Fi would like her nightcap now.

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8 Responses to “You, Me, and Booby Makes Three”

  1. michelle says:

    wait til you tell mark how much an ounce goes for! Do you know how much money we could be making?????? lol!!!!

  2. michelle says:

    “Fiona’s Favorite book : Good Night Boob
    Fiona’s Favorite songs: It’s a Booby Kinda Love
    Fiona’s Favorite Word: Boobaliciuos
    Fiona’s Favorite Movie: What About Boob
    Fiona’s Favorite Drink: Booby straight up with a twist”

    OH MY GOD I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

  3. Amy says:

    Fiona is such a little doll and so photogenic! Sounds like you are quite busy filling her little tummy. Hang in there, Shalagh!

  4. Ann Davis says:

    Shalagh,

    You are hilarious! I love the favorite
    book, song, ets. Very creative. Though you’ve
    always been creative, it seems that breast feeding is not draining you of anything is giving you time to be even more thoughtful and creative.

    I love the photos, a great way to watch Miss Fi’s progress.

    Ann

  5. edski says:

    Well done Shalagh, both with the blog and another cute, healthy baby.

    I figured that since you were writing about boobs, I came to mind, so I’d write something to you here.

    Hope that all are well, and that Easter Bunny drops off some fancy eggs for all.

    • Shalagh says:

      As vague as I can be: If you keep at it, things amount to something. I feel pleased you dropped by. Now go sign up for an E-bay account would ya’?

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