In many ways, this forced isolation has expanded my heart. The persistent time spent with my family, and they with each other, has changed us. Where before we were all living our own busy lives, suddenly we are living together.
And seeing each other in a deeper way. We are building trust funds between one another. There have been a few more “I love you’s” than usual.
One of my most concerted goals with creating a family, has to been to consciously create a closeness between my kids. To foster their connection that will be more important as Mark and I age. We are older aged parents so we might not be around as long in their lives as our parents have been. And no one is allowed to complain about your parents but your siblings.
On the flip side, having suddenly had all of one’s daily routine sucked away leaves small and large people questioning authority and feeling a little claustrophobic. Fiona’s self image so relies on her friends who’s she’s not allowed to see. Duty and demands have replaced my alone and creative time and I’m a little twitchy to say the least.
Lastly, I watch and listen to my friends and family as they fret over what they can not control. Anxieties and not enoughness are scarring and scaring them and there is nothing I can do to help except keep my humor, keep the news out of my house, and continue to create joy and food for my family.
I will always twitch when I hear the words “self-distancing”. There is such a thing as too much information. And my heart bleeds for the people who have lost loved ones from this illness. We are responsible to each other as humans without this reminder.
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