Have you ever found yourself frustrated because you have a chore to do and you just don’t feel like doing it? It’s too hot to take the trash out. There’s dishes piled in the sink and it’s late. My feet are dirty and I’m too tired for a bath. There’s nothing to eat in the house but the thought of take out food turns your stomach?
When things smack of effort, we can feel resentful, angry even. We don’t feel like it. But what we are also inadvertently saying is that we aren’t worth the effort.
Life takes so much effort. Other than the automatic tasks our body maintains for us to live like breathing, everything else we do takes effort to achieve. We are perpetually choosing the next task. We are obtaining, feeding, needing, and achieving from the moment we wake until we pass out.
About a year ago or so, I realized that in order to respect myself, I needed to just get somethings done without thinking about my resentment of them. Because the more you stew and feel resentment about necessary chores, the harder life is. Sometimes you just need to let the chores be neutral and look forward to what’s beyond them.
A good friend said she thinks about what she’ll make for dinner while she’s in the exercise class. Focusing on anything that you can look forward to, or masterminding something to look forward to, can make the most mundane task feel easier and go more quickly.
My kids have chores that they need to do daily because that’s how our house runs smoothly and we get to focus on doing fun things together like playing Yatzee or watching movies. I want them to learn to get beyond the necessary and spend time imagining the possibilities. I want them to be able to respect the care that they take for themselves and their future families. And I have to lead by example.
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