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Your Worth and Your Community

It keeps coming up in my life, the importance of community to me. Aside from the understanding of community’s importance to our survival, where many hands guarantee we will eat and sleep safely under shelters, community is a place to find our own personal worth. That my gift to my community, however small, is still very important. My efforts are never without impact or purpose. It’s only in valuing this that the circle is completed. That the community itself is a life force, an entity that holds the people within, each with their own cog of the wheels that turn.

When you belong to a club, a church, or a group, you often join in the middle of its history. People with like minds and similar loves have come before and worked to create a place for me to belong. A “cloud of witnesses” is around us cheering us on to fulfill our purposes, do what we need to do, be together doing it.

And the notion that we are never alone but as a civilization of communities tied together, there’s a butterfly effect. Each of us unwittingly influences the other. In how we spread our thoughts, our generosity, our kindness, our smiles. How we live out loud with integrity and vulnerability to give another person courage. This is our gift to our communities and to the world.worth in your community on Shalavee.com

To be our best selves and to model what it looks like to be human and fallible and present. That each person has an inherent worth , a nobility of existence that in recognizing it’s value, rises the concept of community to a new level. That is the community I see myself belonging to. Will you join me?

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Book I Tried Not to Want to Write

Back when I was young and ambitious, I used to want to write a book. I was sure that every thought that I had was precious and precocious. I knew my woeful tale was worth telling. Then I grew up. And knew my tale wasn’t so different from many tales. Messed up childhood, abusive marriage, addictions, blah blah blah. So many good books well written on these same subjects, I was glad, relieved even, when I felt I had put it all away where it needed to stay.

Until recently, when that concept reared its know-it-all knowing head and said, “Oh Hello, you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m still here and I’m your Destiny!” Oh Please Already!

Everyone wants to write a book. There’s is nothing novel (hahaha) about it. I really don’t want to want to write a book. And yet, there it was, waving and smiling like an old friend/enemy that I couldn’t ditch.I don't want to want to write a book on Shalavee.com

I have dared not even mention all of this because as soon as I do, I’ll have committed to it and I wasn’t certain I wanted to. You’re going to ask me questions I don’t know if I’m ready to answer. Like what kind of book? I suppose it’ll be what’s known as a self-help book. It’ll be me pulling all these thoughts and life ahas together into a comprehensive format and a lot of personal insights and stories. Because that’s what I am.

Something that I read recently gave me the permission to write this to you today. A gentleman by the name of Jeff Goins has a wonderful career writing to empower writers. And his blog post the other day was on this subject exactly. He said that if that idea is still lingering and you are more than a little afraid of it, it’s because it means a lot to you. You want to do it “right” or not at all. Yup. Like when I used to worry about what kind of parent I’d be and then I realized that was proof enough, that I was going to be (a mostly) good one.I don't want to want to write a book on Shalavee.com

Plenty of people publishing just to get it out of the way. And while I’m not a perfectionist, I certainly don’t want to blow the opportunity to produce a quality product. And you know how you can guarantee you won’t produce a stinker book? Don’t write it. Then you won’t create a stinker and people won’t laugh at you behind you back. And then they never speak to you because you’re a loser.

Except that whole fear/shame script is soooo tiring and unoriginal. And a book that is this much a natural making sense of yourself needs to come out. Much like being constipated in your expressive soul, you need to get it out of the way so that you can express other stuff next. Plus, I might be a bit interested in what I have to say.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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My Worth on this Earth : Should vs. Wanna Be

I hit a bumpy patch recently where I had to stop myself dead in my tracks. I was drowning in my own good ambitious intentions. And it wasn’t even August yet. So I pulled the plug on myself to reevaluate my priorities. Because knowing what you don’t want is as good as knowing what you do. My inherent worth on the planet was being mugged by shoulds.

I’ve journaled a lot recently and sorting out what I think I see going on. This doesn’t mean I’ll have kicked this recurring habit, this brain hiccup I’m accustomed to having, but I’m closer to calling it the should trap that it is at least.

Seems my drive and ambition to succeed are really just me

trying to prove my worth on this earth.

I am desperate to prove I have a purpose because

I secretly I suspect that I have none. WOW!

My worth in this earth on Shalavee.com

I could feel the fear lapping at my ankles. Misting over my thoughts to avoid letting me get to the bottom of this recurring nightmare. Having had a father who was very ambitious, much to the detriment of our family, I’ve lived the bad effects of ambition. However, I clearly know I want to do work that fulfills my soul and calls me to it. I do not want to do work to impress people but to see what else I can add to the world’s worth by doing it. And to see who I can become by doing this work. If people are impressed, all the better.

While fear pushes, vision pulls.

This is a concept given to me recently by Anna Lovind, a creative coach and wise sage. I can reframe and base my future on what makes my heart sing instead of trying to control the unwanted outcome. And I decide whether the shoulds I’m shoving onto my platter to devour are distasteful. Do they or don’t they represent my purpose? Or am I afraid of fulfilling the potential I have long been swallowing ?My worth in this earth on Shalavee.com

The conflict I’m experiencing, the push and the pull, is all about fear. Fear I’m crap, what I make and write is crap and isn‘t worth publishing. That I have nothing of worth to give. Or that once I start to truly give, I won’t be able to stop and people will expect it of me. Come to think of it, having someone expect me to continue is not too bad a thing. That’s accountability that keeps me blogging or vlogging.

If you maintain integrity with your own happy purpose, people then expect you to do your best work out of love. C’mon now, that sounds like Heaven to be able to be more you and have people enjoying it and be inspired by it. Now that I put it that way, I’ll have to sit fear down and let her know, she’s getting in my way and if she could have a seat in the corner, that’d be great. We have fun we need to get on to.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter orPinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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Live Imperfectly and Find Your Now Purpose

I’ve chased myself around the barn for a long time. I’ll pursue what it is I think I am, my passions or purpose. I’ll exclaim them here or there and then I get distracted. I put down my tiny self-eurekas and then forget to keep looking. My process starts and stops often. And I never feel like I truly have a sense of me , my purpose, my “definition”.

Somehow culling yourself down to a sentence or two of purpose seems in many ways important. To rebuild an intentional life, it’s good to know specifically what you truly want to accomplish and are thrilled about doing.You can change it but somehow you should know this about yourself to fulfill it.

But every time I pick up the task of pinning me down, of distilling my life’s purpose, I get distracted. What I really am is afraid. I’m afraid to pigeon-hole myself, that my definition won’t be perfect, I’ll have forgotten something, etc.. But perhaps I’m truly afraid of claiming who I am because I’m afraid to be the real me.Live Imperfectly on Shalavee.com

Sometimes we hear our clans tell us that if we don’t do it their way, they won’t support us. We’re afraid we’ll be abandoned if we don’t do it the way others expect us to, even if no one has ever actually said this or described these actions to our faces. We’re just certain there’s a “right way” that’s not exactly our way. 

I wrote a post not too long ago entitled Perhaps it’s Permission and Not Purpose You Seek as a way of clue-ing myself into this. We’ve forgotten who we are. We’ve done it the way we thought we were supposed to do it for so long, we’ve forgotten who we are. We’re freaking out and dying inside because we’re not us and we’d have to ask permission to do it another way. But what if we found out what really means the most to us and just did it, even if we did this purposeful action as just a hobby while we kept up the “real” job, we’d will feel immensely relieved. You’ve got to know to go. Live Imperfectly on Shalavee.com

So I’m afraid to claim what I value and what I’m passionate about. Ok. So I’m afraid of who I am truly. OK. I’m glad I got that off my chest. Now I’ve got to get back to imperfectly defining myself because I have business to get onto after I do. And I promise myself, I will always be ready to edit my definition of purposeful life if it doesn’t fit with where I am now. Live imperfectly people!

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Perhaps It’s Permission Not Purpose You Seek

For my first couple of years as a blogger, I was barraged with information about what the career online people, including bloggers, were doing. They had goals and purpose. They had widgets and conferences. They had tribes and elevator speeches. And I said “Me Too”! Although being a “make it my way” kinda gal, this didn’t make my purposeful process feel any easier as much as I hoped.

I was wowed when there were e-courses and email subscriptions I could pay for to beef me and my online stuff up. We could Build Platforms to shout out my purposeful branded stand so I could be in the ocean and swim with the big fish.

I did enroll in a few courses and enjoyed a few educational tools but I was still overwhelmed and continually unfulfilled. And as I looked at another e-course last year around the Holidays knowing we didn’t have the money, I said “Stop” ! There’s something up here.Drawing with Daddy on Shalavee.com

What was I really looking for ?” I asked myself. Because while I said I wanted to “find myself”, I suspected what I really wanted was someone to tell me what I was good at and to spell my life out for me. Tell me what to do. And that probably isn’t going to happen ever from anyone online or off.

It’s not up to “them” to find your purpose out for you and then dissuade you from taking their course. You need to dig deep and decide what you truly need to discover. If you discover that what they’re offering is the exact final piece to your puzzle, well then have at it. My gut told me that wasn’t happening with this course or any other then or ever.butter buliding with Eamon on Shalavee.com

Seems my life has been more about proving what I’m not than finding out what I am. So much energy spent reacting to others and seeking approval from others that I never truly knew myself. And I further suspect that, until I have permission to do so, I’m not allowed to find a purpose. And I suspect that this may be a problem many other women experience.

If we are raised by a society that asks us to be only caretakers, then we may completely dismiss our own desires as un-purposeful. Figuring out who we want to be may be the first thing we blow off in figuring out our life goals. This sounds selfish, superfluous, and silly because we don’t have permission to consider this. If we’re “good girls”, we do as we’re told and care-take the people with more reasonable purposes and dreams (our husbands). Or we care-take our helpless loved ones (our babies and our elders). Not that those aren’t noble purposes, they just might not have been chosen by us intentionally. 

So then considering ones life’s purpose and goals is like jumping the shark.  It makes no sense within the context of what we and our clans may expect of us. And if we do choose to head there and away from these expectations, we may need a lot of support and positive mirroring and permission to even consider this a possibility.Architecture with butter on SHalavee.com

I can tell you that I’ve felt rather like a blind bird flailing about in a dark cage. As if I’m searching for the opening by using the Force. My intuition and what others have to say are often my guides to changing some of my first beliefs about myself from “Not enough” and “Can’t” to “Talented Girl with Purposeful Possibilities ahead”. And that this process of establishing purpose and identity takes as long as it takes. One step at a time.

If you missed it, I sussed out my Why in this recent post. And I think your Why is interchangeable with your Purpose. So what’s yours? And is the method by which you’re achieving an understanding of it satisfactory or frustrating? And is that because you are asking the wrong job to fulfill that purpose? And what if I had the power to say you could do what you really wanted to, what would you say/feel then?

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

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