I Carry the Shame
I carry the shame
Of the impoverished upbringings of my parents. Abuse and neglect. I can’t wear stained or torn of illfitting clothes when I leave the house. We don’t do that.
I carry the shame
Of the unwanted weight on my body.
Not maintaining my appeal for men and equally, for caring what anyone thinks of me, especially men.
I carry the shame
Of not fixing my anxiety
Of passing it on to my child
Of not being enough.
I carry the shame
Of staying stuck
Of not rising, using my talents for more.
Of not burning brightly like they all say I can.
I live my shame within my large body
In the darkness of pain and of blame.
It is embodied in my name.
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