The indoor toddler games have begun. Those moments when she is torn between really wanting to have what she wants by any means and wanting me to keep her from it. And all the hell that lies in between. They’re happening. Now.
Fiona just turned 19 months. She’s just a happy little climbing jabbering girl. And yesterday, she slapped me across the face while I was trying to change her. She’s begun her career of sitting in the thinking chair, also known as the Fixing Chair, with a bang. “No hitting Mommy.”
I think, here we go again. Because this is the phase where the battle is never pretty, no one ever wins outright, and you come out feeling like such a beaten up Loser Mommy on the other side. Until you forget all about it for a little while, again.
Yes, you have mentioned to me, why in the world would you want to have another baby? Especially at 48 years old? Because the result is worth it. Remember? You have someone you love entirely too much and you have become humbled and bettered by in ways you never dreamed of. But when you are suddenly faced with a demon child screaming in a conflicted brain lock over ceasing and desisting the activity she was enjoying that you say is forbidden, everyone will be losing. For days on end.
So here we go again into the jungle of toddlerhood. I will be cruising the library soon to arm myself with those wonderful books that felt so smart and supportive last time around. The No-Cry Discipline Solution has the dumbest name and was the best book for a multitude of alternate creative ways to avoid the head to head moments with the toddlers/children. “Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears”. And Mama Rock’s Rules. Chris Rock’s mom wrote a what to do and not to do biography of parenting that was brilliant especially for raising teenagers. All her children are successful. She must be so proud.
Stay tuned for the continuing saga of Mama vs. the very scary toddler. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But maybe by not as much as you’d hoped it would.