search
top

Living the Life I Saw I Wanted

After I was immersed in online communities for a long enough time, I began to see there were different ways of being and seeing. I wanted to understand what it meant to be mindful, compassionate, free from anxiety, and looking forward to my future as an artist. I wanted to see my life and my existence in these new ways because, up until then, I had not experienced or ever thought of these ideas.

I have always been a learner and a searcher. And I was discovering entire communities that believed and were living these concepts. These ways of living brought them joy, ease, and hope. And I wanted to be a card carrying member.Living the Life I Saw I Wanted on Shalavee.com

So I hung out and watched, took risks, learned, and got burned. I shared what I was trying, seeing, feeling, and failing at. And year after year, I became part of an immense community of like-minded people. With much trepidation, I led projects that focused on creativity and soul work. I struggled and moved slowly. I spoke my truths and felt heard.

When I finally conceded that all the cognitive work hadn’t kept me from falling into a pit of anxiety, I asked for anti-anxiety meds. This was the pivotal point when I laid down the foundation for all that work to finally stick. My fear was so strong and the pathways so well-trod that none of my work would allow my brain to open those final doors.Living the Life I Saw I Wanted on Shalavee.com

In the months that followed, I started to notice that the quieting of the persistent whispers of fear left space for me to truly comprehend and apply all the learning I had collected. I began to administer compassion to me and my loved ones. I began to be extremely aware of my every moment with my children. Mindfulness was making a whole lot of sense to me. And with all of this, I was building my self trust. The primary component for a sense of ease and hope I have longed for all of my life.

I still have the beautiful intelligent powerful community that I grew with all this time. And I am able to share these thoughts and epiphanies with them and gain new connections with people who are moving in the same directions as me. I believe that I not only belong with these people and they make me a better me, I belong to my easy-going compassionate hopeful self as well.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional In-touchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

KIndness

Why is it we think that we assume other people will suck? That they’ll be mean to us if we ask them for a hand or a hot shot. Why are we so surprised when we are rewarded with humanity.

I have recently noticed that when I present myself to the world with a glad and kind heart, a smile and a wave, and a little more confidence than I used to have, I am rewarded with the same. In fact, my kindness expands as I give it out. I touch them with the flame and they light up.

Kindness is the gift that keeps on giving. It costs nothing yet it is so valuable as it spreads exponentially expanding in heart after heart. 

The final frontier for many of us is practicing kindness with ourselves. To be as gentle and compassionate as we would with an animal, with ourselves. That kindness is what the world needs most of all.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

Pumpkin Smashers

I was a city kid, savvy to the dangers of the incivility of civilization. I’ve had to field unwanted advance from local celebrities, fend off junkies and drunks on the public bus, and walk home at nighttime from work. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt more upset than when I had my jack o’ lantern smashed at Halloween when I was in my 30’s.

Of course it was the neighborhood teenagers and I knew better than to have left it out. But it was then that I coined the phrase “pumpkin smashers” to describe “those” people. The people who are without compassion for the efforts of others’ creativity. People who are insensitive and completely entitled to treat other people like “its”.

And what I’ve realized is that there are pumpkin smashers in all life’s arenas, not just on your street on Halloween. People lurking on the internet and Facebook whose only care is for themselves and their righteousness. They will criticize you and your stuff as quickly as picking a chunk of mud from their shoe and then quickly move off to do it to someone else.

I get that the world is full of pumpkin smashers. But why do we let them get to us? Why are we so incensed by their lack of compassion? How can they be so thoughtless and rude? It’s breaking the rules of civility, morality, and humanity to act that way. But these people are not our equals. They are wounded toddlers. And they are the real ones in need of our compassion.

So the next time you get a knee jerk reaction to a pumpkin smasher, take a moment to consider it is absolutely not about you. It’s about their lacks, their sadness, and their losses. And extend to them the compassion that they so desperately need to give to themselves. They may borrow it, they may not but it’s the only humanity they may have all day.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The World Could Be Healed By a Weighty Blanket of Compassion

You’ve heard it over and over. The antidote to our toxic self-hatred and judgment is compassion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We agree but somehow that doesn’t seem to fit with how we feel and treat ourselves on a daily basis. We count on our driving ourselves hard to make progress, to make money, and to make our lives worth it. Compassion is not productive.

I’m in my therapy appointment today and it occurs to me and my therapist that perhaps I am still judging my teen self for some things. And where I may have forgiven my parents or you for doing your substandard best, I may still be holding myself in a vice for some choices. And frankly, I don’t want to hold myself prisoner anymore. I want to be allowed to be human.The World Could Be Healed By a Weighty Blanket of Compassion on Shalavee.com

The one and ONLY way to counteract self-hate, and that oogy sub-human feeling we bathe in consistently and unconsciously, is self-compassion. Instead, we only gently need to say I am sorry that that happened. I know you must have been doing the very best you could. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from that. That must have sucked. I forgive your humanity. I forgive you.

Try it sometime. Heap a weighty blanket of compassion on yourself and everyone. Break the spell and be what the world needs you to be, Human.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

The Lesson I Relearn : It Takes as Long as It Takes

I am ecstatic to report that I have made such immense strides lately. I saw my therapist yesterday and I had so much progress to report, I was almost surprised for all I had to tell her. And I talked so non-nonchalantly; no big deal. But let me tell you, this progress is a very big deal.

I can remember often holding myself emotionally hostage, frustrated because I wasn’t further along than I was. How come that person seems so far along in their journey? They apparently have figured out how to move beyond their fear so why can’t I ?

The Lesson I Relearn : It Takes as Long as It Takes on Shalavee.com

But those thoughts are crap and here’s why. Their progress and mine are apples and oranges. Most likely, their origin stories and mine are nothing alike. And the more I do this comparison crap to myself, the more I guarantee that I will stay exactly where I am.

In order to move from where you are,

You have to allow yourself to be

exactly where you are.

Forgiveness and compassion are the only ways that you will move from where you are. Shame will keep you cemented interminably in this spot and you are doomed to repeat the crappy feeling cycle like some sort of living purgatory.

I sat back and watched myself for a while. I gave myself compassion as I had the strength and wisdom to give. And then, I made one change, did one thing that I needed to do to move on. Started one habit, reached out to one person, gave up one ultimatum and moved on from where I was stuck.

And it’s feeling really really good. Stay tuned for more updates on the progress.

And If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit.

« Previous Entries Next Entries »

top