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I find myself once again, for the seemingly thousandth time, doubting my reason d’etre. I have been experiencing a bout of ennui, not feeling motivated or inspired by my life. Again. Of course, it’s always The Fear Mother, the fiendish shadow in the soul that crawls in and darkens my thoughts. Casts spells of forgetfulness…
My body has gone through many many changes in my 50 plus years. Growing up into a girl who then got her period on the day of a 7th grade camping trip. Valuing myself only for my body as an angry teen. Living the religion of pretty, fit, and desirable in my 20’s and 30’s….
It continuously occurs to me that the better I know myself, the better I can understand my value to the world and to you whoever you might be. When I connect with me I can connect with you. And becoming myself is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I envy those…
Cold and rainy, now snowy day. I just wanted to put on my old ugly fleece coat. The one I was surprised to find in the closet since it was from when I was pregnant, has a busted belt loop, and possibly a paint splotch on it. But it’s like wearing a blanket on a…
Have you ever caught a look at yourself inside the room in the mirror? It is so enticing and almost exotic to see your life this way except in there it’s exactly the opposite. And it makes me wonder how the world in which she lives in may be different, perhaps better. What secrets does…
This past Easter weekend, while visiting in-laws in the city, I happened to look up from washing my hands into my face in the mirror. And I was surprised at how endearing my wrinkles around my eyes were and how amused I felt at feeling positive about such a thing “marring” my beauty. These wrinkles…
After reading a rather inspirational blog post last night and again this morning, I see the third dimension. The missing piece that I can identify but not quite name. I’ve acknowledged before that my mirror is broken. And today I know I’m still looking at the back of it. Would that I knew what I…
Mirror Mirror in my brain, can you tell me if I am sane. Seems the mirror I keep referring to is that distorted one from my childhood’s not so fun funhouse. When you grow up in a household with unhappy people, you see yourself as you would in a scary funhouse mirror way. You know…
My life’s forest has always been invisible but for my own trees. I’ve always known I can’t see me but now I believe I’ve blocked my view. I need to get the heck out of my way. Maybe you knew this about me and I thank you for keeping it on the down low until…
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