No doubt you are familiar with the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare, aka bunny, got cocky forseeing a future where he won the race, put on by a bored tyrannical lion, because he was faster than the tortoise, aka turtle. And the bunny lost because he prioritized a nap and his obvious destiny to win over actually being in the race. The story could be a reference to opposing governmental systems but for this post’s purposes, they are past and present me.
I used to be referred to as the Energizer Bunny which I also came to understand stood for my chosen defense mechanism I developed growing up against being criticized by my father: Industrious Overfocused. Looking and being busy staved off the inner voices of my Not Enoughs and I was constantly proving I was worth the value of what I accomplished. But I didn’t believe it until I finally did believe I was enough. That is another story.
Since my shift, I feel more like Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda. The wise old tortoise knew the powers of being present. He said,”You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There is a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” Where I used to worry about what people might think and not making mistakes, I am now mindful that this moment is all I truly have and I cherish each by making the best of them. Whether that’s being present is for my daughter or my son or myself, I recognize the power of my focused attention.
I am taking my life so slowly because I want my impetus to come from personal desire and not the should place of my past. When I come from a place of should, it never works out well. I am being cautiously optimistic that the universe is routing for me. I am working from a place of faith that I am here not only to birth and witness my children, but to do the same for myself. I aspire to be a wise old turtle.
Ps. Another Lesson I learned from Kung Fu Panda was How Chi is all it’s cracked up to be.
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I’m definitely slowing down, but I’m also taking the time to enjoy things more.