I am in the process of clearing and cleaning out my files and shelves in January. After my collapse of November, I decided that all goals and shoulds from last year are suspect. Because I truly got the sense that I was striving for much of that based on what I thought I should be doing.

But I couldn’t help but think, when do many of us have the opportunity or are encouraged to live for our own happiness? As women, we are programmed to take care of other’s happiness. As children of narcissists, we are not supposed to exist but for their needs. Our compliance to the rules of nice all but squelch who we truly are and we give up trying to figure it out.

So again, I am truly focusing on that which makes me happy. Being with my people and communicating with my community make me extremely happy. That’s my zone. Writing makes me happy. And creating and decorating always makes me happy. This much I know. How this gets spun into a purpose that I scream, “oh my gosh that’s exactly what I need to do!”, I am unsure. But I’m focused.

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2 Comments

  1. Oh my dear, I know! When we start doing things that we love as a chore, something that must be done our pleasure goes away. Let’s add more fun and joy and subtract the deadlines to our projects.

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