I recently told you that I did not achieve the weight loss I had hoped to within my given amount of time. In fact, I admitted I think being on Weight Watchers seemed to make me gain weight. As in, who are you to tell me how many points I need, I’ll decide that. 4 months later, I ask myself, what if my why is just wrong. Because no matter the physiological cause and effects, “Whys” run the show.
So I am regarding those today and seeing what my truth might be. In the case of losing weight, I think my reason is to be skinnier because I hate myself larger. Right there, the anger and judgment are what I’m stumbling on. “So you’ll like me” is never a good reason.
A year ago when I was anxious and feeling down on myself for not being more successful. I should be publishing more, I should spend ore time writing seriously. But what I realize there is that “Because I should is also not a very good motivator.
These are habits which are tremendously hard to break. The habit of self-judgment. The habit of not enough. And after you recognize yourself participating in this habit, the only thing that can be done is to heap giant doses of self-compassion on yourself, consider that you are always where you are supposed to be despite all your rampant shoulds, and fin a bigger better why.
So, what is another Reason Why I would like to lose ten pounds? What if I don’t need to be fixed? What if no one cares what I look like but me. What if I would like to prove that I could despite my old lady metabolism? Something needs to change in my thoughts before I can change anything.
But one things for sure, I need to be OK right where I am or I’m not going anywhere.
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