Mother’s Day was a hoot this year. Mark made sure that my every need was overly taken care of. My children said they loved me every half hour and I got thee wishes plus one more fulfilled. Household tasks I would otherwise be blown off for asking were taken care of speedily like sorting through a pile of paperwork and reattaching my newel post. And I only went shopping and cooked a tenderloin and a pie. The rests of the meals were taken care of by my family.
But I also understand that Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that not everyone celebrates. Especially if they themselves have chosen not to be a mother.
Jenny Brown, a woman I am friends with on Instagram, in response to conversations about her choice not to choose motherhood but instead chose to devote herself to her art, said this,
“To all of us who have been told that not having kids is “selfish,” who had strangers wish them a Happy Mother’s Day yesterday without even them even knowing if you have a child, and for those like me who chose not to have a child but instead nurture their art, please stand proud. And remember, being a mom is not a requirement of being a woman. When people ask me if I’m sad or feel like I “missed out,” in my heart I know those questions often come from the speaker’s own anxiety on missing out on opportunities, dreams, and travels they didn’t take. I’m so thankful I don’t feel that way about my life ❤️”.
Motherhood is an option that not all women choose to follow through with. Just because you can doesn’t mean you must if it’s not right for you. While I feel for the many who would like to have kids and either can’t or are terrified to try, I also know that my creativity wouldn’t have been nourished as well as if I hadn’t had kids.
Creative women often throw out their creative endeavors to keep their children “alive”. A double edged sword because, if you aren’t expressing your authenticity, you may be dying a slow death inside which the children will definitely pick up on and copy later in life. And what it takes to keep them actually alive becomes less and less about alive and more about “comfortable”, aka spoiling them. We give up ourselves for fear of not giving them the best life we could. Not worth the price because the best life would be to model our entitlement to our creative gals, wouldn’t it?
Motherhood is a huge mind mess and everyone would be happier to stand by their choice to be in it all the way, or stay right the heck out of it and cheer us mothers on. Because either way, it is a choice,
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