So many how to be happy books flood the market making happiness almost seem like a product people are selling that is too good to be true. I can say Happiness is all it’s cracked up to be but it’s also a very personal journey, not one anyone can magically give you. And I’m sure that any one of these books, or no books at all, will be helpful in you creating your happy life if you get down and do the homework and create the building blocks of making your happiness your project and your process. You are in charge of your own recipe.

The recipe for a solid self on

I have this theory that our healthy selves are composed of some basic ingredients. As in your own kitchen where you need to stock the basics of flour, sugar, and yeast to make bread that will rise, I think there are some basic components we need to grow. And the first that comes to mind is Self-trust.

I don’t think I truly understood it’s importance until I acknowledged the great chasm in me where it was missing. I was so anxious sometimes, I could feel like I was falling. I was unhappy pretending to be happy. And I wondered what I needed to “fix”. In fact, l was sorely lacking in self-trust.

The recipe for a solid self on

What I needed was to have own my back. To know that I was reliable when I made promises to myself. That I would keep myself safe and take care of my needs above others’. Those are a few of the components of self-trust, signs that self-trust is present. Knowing that if you make a decision, it was the best you were capable of making at the moment and that good enough is acceptable.

Gaining this self-knowledge is work. I suppose you have to first decide if you’re worthy of the work. Somehow I always knew my inner girl was worth it. One exercise that I found that has helped me tremendously is the Five Acknowledgements one. Maybe not daily, but at least several times a week, I write a list of the top five things that I have accomplished recently. It could be tasks or realizations or fears I’ve overcome. It can even just be acknowledgements of feelings I’m having. And somehow, this practice, much like a gratitude journal, has helped me keep an eye on my value and progress. And I can say my tin of self-trust is filling regularly.

What are the other bins filled with in my kitchen/arsenal ? Perspective, creativity, and compassion perhaps. If we don’t have our own definitions of what it means to be the person we want or what it looks like to live with purpose or passion, how do we know when we are engaged in living it ? Might seem daunting but I guarantee, once you decide what it is that you need to live with fulfillment and light, you will want to do this work to get there. One step at a time is all it takes.

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