My old nickname used to be the Energizer Bunny. I like doing. I have valued myself for the amount of doing I get done and that’s the way I’ve coped with my stress (see industrial overfocused). And while it has worked for me that I made it through the holidays feeling pretty proactive and deserving of a few relaxation hours, I have been on a familiar treadmill during January with an obligation to coordinate a fundraising event in addition to my regular parenting band. And so I kept the relentless treadmill running in my head week after never-ending week. Until this past week when my body said “Your sick, have a seat.”
As I laid there with my stomach demanding all of my attention to its achy knot riddled state, I really didn’t have any aspirations to do anything else but lay. I may have spent 15 minutes on my feet that day. And I was OK with that. Because I had done enough towards what needed to get done. And I would be well by the time my event rolled around. I was just having a seat. And that isn’t always a bad thing to be in a place of enough.
We all need a reset point. We have parties to celebrate transitions from one year’s being alive to the next. We have parties to celebrate marriages and graduations. These are all rests and markers before we continue. And I think we need to be very mindful of supplying ourselves with the same feelings of stop and rest and reflect in our more daily existence. Breaks in routing spark imagination.
It took me a few days to truly recover from the my stomach thing. Happily I may have lost another pound on my 2018 weight loss journey to fit back into my clothing. And there was truly nothing that I missed doing. My floors are still as dirty as they were before I got sick.
I was able to type while slumped in my chair and write a couple of blog posts but that was the extent of my productivity. I was truly OK with Mother Nature telling me to have a seat. And that would be a first. Maybe I’m not valuing myself as much for my measured successes but for the satisfaction of my soul? Or maybe I had a good enough head start. Either way, I feel well enough to continue. And soon this will all be a nightmare.
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