On the celebratory day of Fiona being 3 months old, it’s time to come on out and tell you that I am less than Super Mommy. I know you’ll understand dear reader. And now I’m gonna out myself.
I just can’t stand it when someone is right about me being wrong. Especially when it comes to my parenting mistakes. A shiver of discontent passes through me even thinking about this.
I went to the pediatrician’s office when Fiona was maybe three weeks, I can’t remember now. And the nice lady doctor was thoroughly checking out Fiona from top to bottom. And when she got to the bottom, she disdainfully noted that Fiona had a little poo left in a crevice or two and I may want to be watchful of the dimple on her back as well. Um, I need glasses perhaps when I go in for the wipe? And, no I didn’t think a careless cleanup could lead to infection that fast. The good doctor also has a way of overstating what a good mother I must be that it’s almost creepy.
Another time, within the same week, another baby health professional and I were chatting about her reflux and I turned to do something and the professional’s arm shot out to make sure the baby didn’t leap off the table. Even though Fiona’s still incapable of rolling over, there’s got to be a constant watchfulness of that future possibility or it will catch you off guard.
Then, I’m in the grocery store waiting for the deli counter to deliver up my shaved bagged meats and cheeses. I have a sleeping baby in the car seat in the cart and I leave her parked and stroll maybe 15 feet over to the bread/TP aisle to pick out paper towels. 30 seconds later, as I’m walking back, an acquaintance walks up and says,” I was thinking about taking you baby but I have two at home and that’s enough”. Insert nervous laugh. I’m busted for negligence and baiting the nappers with my little napper in a nappy.
And my third or fourth infraction was also last week. I was driving the truck, with my husband up front and Fiona in the back seat, down to her doctor’s appointment. I got behind a slow poke and his follower. And on the longest straight stretch of that road with no one in sight, I punch it and passed them. My husband says he would never have taken that chance with the baby in the car. And, although I saw nothing wrong, he is the other parent. And they have trump power.
If it’s on behalf of the good of the child, I suppose I would always encourage the truth, even at the cost of my ego. And then there are times when people say things just to be better than you. And there are times when we all could use to suppress the very first thought that pops into our heads. Mothers are already over sensitive beasts you know. At least she gets a bath every day, almost. And I have a baby monitor on at night to hear every little gruffle and snarfle. And I had her vaccinated today. I’m at least smart enough to bring the husband to endure the shot thing while I went out to the car. Doing my best, letting go of the rest.
ha! Just treating her like you treat everyone else in your family and your world. Imagine that. Not extra worried about every little thing? Sounds European to me. Go you!
The second is definitely bound to get ignored. Or is that just normal and the first was fussed about into a froth. The poo thing was a little mortifying. Thanks for the vote of confidence Kathy. Can’t wait to see you again.
IGNORE THEM!!!!!!! People feel (medical “professionals” especially) that they have the right to make judgement. If only they actually took note of the babies that need to be taken care of instead of a normal mother doing normal things. Don’t double guess yourself, trust your gut and your instinct and that is all that matters.
I completely agree with you about the gut thing Emily. And I am so flattered that you would stand up for me in the “screw em” kinda way that friends who’ve never met would do. I think we should take everything into consideration, even if we don’t like what we’re hearing. And then pay special attention to our sensitivity because maybe that is where we’re feeling un-confident. Otherwise we’d blow it off. I felt bad for the nurses at the birth wing at the hospital for all the babies they saw go home with ungrateful/gross/incompetent mothers. Many of them don’t know if they even want to be mothers. Too close I suppose. Where the one lady health prof. was slightly condescending(never was a mother), the other talked me down off the ledge when I was freaking out(she is a breast cancer survivor and mother to two). Grains of salt I suppose. Thanks again!
Think of this way, you could have responded to the theoretical baby-napper with dead eyes and said, “You wouldn’t have made it…intact.” Nothing like scary psychopath mommy response. Then they would have nervously laughed and sidled away.
Oh don’t you love the retrospective zingers. That one is good.