I used to have a friend. I think of her often. And the question she used to ask when there was a moment of strain or uncertainty was, “Is it Ok?”I thought about her and this today. What was that about? Do I do it too? Because I think there’s a lot more here than meets the ear.

I absolutely believe that the outcomes of your day (and your life) will work out the way you think they will. Manifest destiny. These are the handful of outcomes I see playing out.

Outcome Number one : The day will work out well, barring any truly unforeseen circumstances that you may have to deal with.

Outcome Number two :  Your day will become good or bad depending how you and your feelings interpret it. Your mood and your level of positive or negative deserved-ness will sway your feeling of your day.

Outcome Number three : Or your day will suck because your life usually sucks and you have no hope for recovery.

cats on the sofa with sunflowers

I used to be a number three. My first marriage was a suck-fest mostly. And then I decided that was no way to live my beautiful life. I chose to stop that relationship. I’ve lived outcome number two ever since. Hormones can throw my day under the bus. The baby’s arrival and being in the trenches for the first three months is a very difficult thing. But knowing this too shall pass is about confidence and a faith in life’s kindness. And this week I experienced 9 days in a row of number three. Where life and what I had going on pretty much was wonderful and good to me even despite the butt kicks I got. I think I may be graduating.

sunflowers on Shalavee.com

My story is constantly being written by me yet the question, “Is It OK?” asks for someone else to verify how the story will end. I need another’s approval to move on or decide if it’s enough or too much, good or bad.  And how many of us have felt so relieved when we got validation that our goals or dreams were pretty cool? Yes recently for me. But I’ve been struggling for a while trying to make sense of what I felt and what I needed and how that worked into the wider world. So sometimes, it’s OK to ask if it’s OK? But make sure that when they poo poo an idea, that you have the wherewithal to thank them for their advice and then you go on and do it anyway. Because if it’s yours and it makes you tingle when you think about it then it’s better than OK. It’s your destiny.

If you have any thoughts, please drop a word below in the comments. Or

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  1. So that is what the Tingle is about!!!! You know, I was just thinking about coaching indoor soccer for the 5 years-olds this winter and creating Pirate Day in the middle of the program- getting the parents to play with the kids with Pirate-eye patches and making parents run without bending one knee (peg legs!), and I swear I tingled inside with the magic, mayhem and memories such an adventure would create for the kids and the parents. Whoop!! When I share this will people think I am ridiculous – absolutely – but it is the ridiculous space in our lives where love and community and connections happen. when I slow down enough to reflect on where I am happiest, it’s the ridiculous spaces of my being. the tingle is always a signal of It is OK!

    1. You are the connector of mayhem and magic. And the children who’s lives you enter are changed for the better by your intentional crazy connecting.
      Tingle away. And allow us to be a part of it always.
      Love Ya’,

    1. Oh Sheryl I am soooo happy to hear from you. I think about you you know. Want to know how you are. My Mom was diagnosed with a centimeter of breast cancer and is being treated now. I made my mammogram appt. just now. We’re doing well and working hard. Summer’s almost at an end and I feel I did well my 9 year old. Don’t be a stranger and I’ll have to come over to Facebook more often.

  2. Well thought out.

    From “Is it OK?” to a bad relationship… but really, it is okay.  After a while you know, you feel what ought to be cut out.  Taking advice and excepting an experience is necessary (otherwise it would be selfish doing everything your way, rejecting everything from others).

    Asking “is it okay” is also okay, a part of awareness. There’s a problem if you’ve come to a point if you’re questioning the validity of things but really the validity of yourself in the picture. Changes, rocky roads, you sound like you’ve come out the other end better than before.

    It’s your life, ultimately—the master of your destiny; just do what you love and be happy. (And not because of my suggesting.)


    1. You got what I meant with “questioning the validity of yourself in the picture” Adam. My friend is the master of her own negative destiny. And I can not tell her if it’s OK. Only she can. Thank you.

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