The are no locked doors in the interior of my house save on the two bathroom doors. The old door locks are metal squares attached to the solid wooden doors with locks that make a solid metal safety sound when you click the switch. Bathrooms aside, no doors get locked inside the house. Yes, there are no keys to the old doors on our bedrooms anymore but we don’t really need them. The trust in the house allows enough space between us to not have to lock ourselves in or against anyone.

There’s nothing we need to hide from one another. Anything you want to know, I’ll tell you. You just have to be sure you want to hear the answer. There’s also an understanding in our house that no door is opened without permission. We ask and wait for permission to enter. We honor boundaries even when we’re mad. We certainly each have our secrets to keep but they are mine until I give them to you.

If I lock you out, you’re going to want to really know why. And this might create trust problems that don’t need to exist. It’s wiser to just ask/tell people to allow you space, to act entitled to your space than to steal it from people with locks. If I command the boundary, it will be respected.

Because, in the end, it’s about our worlds allowing us to even have boundaries and space to be ourselves. That it’s okay to act with that entitlement and privilege rather than having to steal it with locks and lies.

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