I tossed a look up at the top shelf of the closet where the skinny butt pants get parked. Those are the ones that don’t quite fit yet; perhaps may never fit again.  And I caught sight of the several pairs of truly nice high heels I own. And it struck me: I’m never going to be the person who teeters about on those heels and hurts herself. And I’ve decided I’m giving her walking papers and some shoes to walk out the door with. I’m breaking up with the parts of me that never were.

Breaking up with parts of myself on Shalavee.com

Yes, I am letting go of those three-inch Nine West boots I bought for a song and wore once. The delicate Spanish sling backs I had the heel tips replaced on. I’m letting go of who I thought I might become in favor of the person I seem to be actually becoming.

There has been a lot of progress and change happening on the inside and on the outside in recent years and months. Where I used to keep stuff because I wanted to see if I’d become the person who owned it, I now realize I am already me. And the slowly becoming skinnier me can call the shots on weeding through that wardrobe. Because she likes herself and no longer has to become someone else to be liked by others.

While not returning to myself , stagnating and basking in my fear, I was confused about who I was. About who I might become. Kept wishing someone would just tell me already so I could stop guessing and buying clothing and shoes that weren’t quite right.

Breaking up with parts of myself on Shalavee.com

Now that I’ve provided myself with the hope of happiness in my own skin, I realize that I know the answer to the question, “Do these pants make me look fat?” although my perception of my butt can change depending on how I feel about myself, there are pants that look good on me and pants that don’t and I think I know which ones those are.

As for uncomfortable shoes, they suck. And plenty of shoes are handsome and comfortable. You may just have to look a little harder and be willing to spend a little more for them but heck if you don’t deserve them.

So glad to finally be at a place where I have enough perspective to make choices to purge and declutter all these former “possibilities”. With the clarity in one realm, I feel certain that clarity will spill over into many more. And I won’t be standing here wondering who I am and what I’m supposed to do/look like/suffer through too much longer.

If you enjoyed what you read, subscribe, via the subscription box in the sidebar, to my thrice weekly posts via your emailbox. And visit me on Instagram to see my daily pictures, friend me or like my page on Facebook. Or come find me on Twitter or Pinterest too. I am always practicing Intentional Intouchness so chat at me please. I live for conversations.

And, as always, Thanks to you for your visit. If you Sign up for my newsletter in the sign up box over there to the right, you’ll receive a first look-see at my Creative Mothers’ Manifesto!  Heartfelt impassioned words on the need for expressing creativity for your soul and being a better mother for it

If you have any thoughts, please drop a word below in the comments. Or

Find and friend me on Instagram to view my daily pictures and art projects.

Find and Facebook friend me.

If you are interested in reading more of my thoughts on Creative Soul Living, place your name into the subscription box in the sidebar on the right and subscribe to my weekly posts delivered straight to your inbox.

And as always, thank you for your visit.


  1. Oh this is perfect for me right now. After looking at my shoes recently, I wondered why I hang onto the ones that will “look great” when I’m feeling better about myself. And why does “better” mean feminine and sexy, according to current fashion trends? It’s all such a confusing topic, self image is. Thanks for your thoughts, Shalagh! I love seeing those shoes walk down the stairs and out the door. Buh-bye!

    1. Truly tired of waiting around for the moment when I’ll be the right me Dawn. I’m already the right me and have no one to impress but me. Thanks for getting it.

  2. Your discards and my discards should meet mid-country and open a Women Who Need Dress Shoes center. No charge Just need.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.