A while back, I wrote a post titled, I’m No Longer a Runner. I bemoaned the fact that my apparent SI joint malformation was increasing in pain and that it may stop me cold from doing the one thing that had always been my happy exercise: running. Because when we are faced with chronic pain, we think we have to give up hope. We begin to compromise and make due and tell ourselves there are other ways we can be happy. Never an excuse to stop following the breadcrumbs to our wellness but it slows us down with the not knowing.
I am happy to say that I am running again. The steroid injections eventually helped, although it seemed like a long time for them to kick in. I can take Ibuprofen and go for a run/walk and my affected joint only aches. I can totally settle for that because these early Summer days are exquisite and all I want to do is go running and huff the heady lemony scent of magnolias in bloom.
I think sometimes we get to worrying and apprehending the future, especially if it includes pain, and we try to come up with solutions that if we were to buy, would solve all the dissonance. If I didn’t want to be a runner, than not running would be fine. Except it isn’t, because in my heart of hearts, I am still a runner. I love the breeze and the smells. The rhythm and honesty of it. And I love that I trust myself to just start and stop and go where I want. Running is such a longstanding part of me that I hope I can keep doing it for a long time.
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