My brain started to swirl two days ago. I thought, “this was inevitable” . I realized that my thoughts were familiar and the bad feelings that accompanied them were too. Not enoughness was rising up and threatening to swamp my mood and render me hopeless.

I thought, the medication is failing just like I knew it would. I thought, why haven’t I started any project of meaning? I thought, I am not losing any weight on Weight Watchers gosh darn it. I thought, There’s too much and not enough.

And so I sat on my couch and reached out for a voice that would counteract this and I found it. I had subscribed to a five day email series from Mara Glatzel on Enoughness. I listened to her final video and then I listened again.

She said our messy humanity which we are confronted with every moment of every day is not proof of our not enoughness. We as women ask ourselves to be more and do more than we are actually capable. And when we come up short with these overzealous expectations that are supported by our family and society, we get to feel badly about ourselves.

grappling with my not enoughness on

How many ways do we set ourselves up to feel “less than” ? These unrealistic expectations of our bodies, our time, and our boundaries keep us powerless and distracted. No one needs to oppress us, we do a damn fine job all on our own.

That day I realized that I was probably already living my life’s purpose. I am still a devoted blogger and daily Instagram poster and my creativity and authenticity give others permission. Whatever you are doing today is what you are meant to be doing today. Don’t doubt that. Let your gratitude for your messy life be enough in this moment.

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