Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics? on

Yes, I can definitely see my wish to “succeed” in my life. I want to find a dream to pursue purposefully. I’ve had occasions where I really thought I knew what I wanted and knew what I needed to do to get there. But those were also the days when I didn’t realize that I was still trying to impress people and gain favor. Days when I secretly thought it was about popularity and competition. And I may have accomplished stuff but my why was wrong and my scare tactic methods of accomplishing my goals left me tired. I felt beaten up and bullied by myself.

Do You Use Scare Tactics or Self Care Tactics? on

Eventually I would discover that any goals that included impressing others and making them like me were not goals with integrity. My new rule became that I would only work towards goals and projects that made me happy and that if others were happy too, great. But what also came of this was a kindness and a patience I have never given myself before. I have always bullied myself and now I am committed to witnessing myself and giving myself enough compassion through the scary bits to move on. I have the permission and power to acknowledge me and move through.

At the very core of reaching any destination is the knowledge that I deserve the perceived reward. And to keep fuel in the “worthy” tanks, I am regularly bestowing the kindest care I can on myself. For me this looks like getting pedicures (which I am due up for), having alone time to think and write, and lovely lunches with the people who I care about. Do what you want to do verses what you have to do. Because honestly, unless you’re at work with a boss hanging over your shoulder, life should be fun and not a grueling rat race of perfection and wealth and achievement. You can choose to bully you or you can choose to be kind to you.

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  1. As I sit here at my desk eating my 100% Pasture Raised, Barn Free Cows, Grass Fed Cream Top Yogurt (Maple Ginger!) :>), I realize this cup of yogurt is one way to care for myself and give myself a break. No locked barn for me — I’m free! Thank you, dear, for another wonderful post.

  2. I’m going with the compassion route too. Why did the bully route somehow feel more ‘professional’? Argh. Cheers to our worthy tanks!! xo

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