Daily Shalagh
Daily Shalagh is otherwise known as everything I think and say and do. Or another home page.
Our Parents and Ourselves
Anne Lamott said “Write as if your parents are dead.” In an attempt to save people from your truth, you censor yourself from writing about your pain. This pain has made you you and may have been caused by them. And this mutes your most important story. And now Their Shames have become yours. You were made complicit to their crimes against themselves and to you. If you tell, you’ll be bad. Ungrateful. Naughty. She added, this, “Remember that you own what happened to you. If your childhood was less than ideal, you may have been raised...
read moreWhat Low Self-Worth and Capitalism are Causing You to Do
We live in a society where lack of self-worth has become an epidemic. Low self-esteem is the new black. Most of us have come to believe in our inherent worthless and how we have to work hard, be successful, popular, attractive, healthy, wealthy, and be in control to earn worth. When we were babies, we knew our worth. All that adulation was as it should be. But as we grow up, we become unaware of our true, unlimited worth. We forgot? It was systematically drained from us as we grew. “The world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and...
read moreSelf-care Sunday Thoughts
The rain has finally stopped and the blue skies are filled with cartoon exhaust clouds. My son’s friends are all happily yelling at the video game they are playing. The smell of chili and banana bread permeate the house. Am trying to squelch the pain of my SI joint which has returned with Ibuprofen. And I’m trying to figure how best to continue engage in the impossible task of getting my Mother out of her house. It keeps coming back to this. I wake in the morning and wonder what is the next best thing. I want to get her to where I...
read moreAh Do Do Do, Ah Da Da Da, S’all I Want to Say to You
Am I doing it right? I dunno. Am I doing it anyway, Yup! This week is filled with anticipation of Autumn and all the cleaning and doing projects that seem to accompany the break in hot weather. Home and garden maintenance and cleaning. The windows look horrid. The bought potted perennials need planting. Things need painting. The littlest child is returning to school on Thursday. Seems no one died from the virus this week in Maryland. She will be masked and I will be driving her to school. But it gives me some hope that this will all be a...
read moreReframe Your Slow: By Choice or By Force ?
Two women I know from my online community, and for whom I have great respect, both spoke in their newsletters about how they felt twitchy about feeling slowed down and awaiting things. The global trend to embrace the slow life as a way of living sounds so lovely but it’s a whole other thing to feel forced to slow down. Anna Lovind, the teacher of my Creative Doer course, said, “I find it incredibly frustrating to not be able to create swift change the way I’m used to. But maybe slow is what I can handle right now”. To have...
read moreStay Strong and Let it Be OKay to Not Be OKay
At the bank today, I overheard a woman say “Stay Strong” and I said, “I prefer that to’stay safe’.” The teller said that the woman who said that was starting a campaign to promote mental health awareness and depression support through this time. And I said, “I can totally support that. I’m spreading Stay Strong”. I am definitely affected by the weather, by my bodily and hormonal cycles, and by what I’ve heard or what has happened to me today. Some days I have the energy and some days I just don’t. It needs to be...
read moreHow My Feelings Freak You Out and What to Do About It
As you know, I truly disregard other’s judgment of my expression of feelings here. This space has always held safety for me. Even when I’ve been attacked, I still know that I am entitled to be honest about me. I sometimes think I should be more so. And what I’ve come to realize is that not only do people truly not understand that it’s Okay to be not Okay, they think that my expression of self-doubt or fear to be me is somehow a reflection of instability. After all, who thinks this is Okay? I Do. In fact, if we were all...
read moreKnow That You Are Necessary
One can’t create the life one wants without envisioning its form first. But knowing that you are necessary to this world, that your gifts, stories, and laughter are necessary, the journey can not even begin without knowing these absolutes. I named the life that i want to live ‘Creative Soul Living’. Yet l often forget that l even dreamed that commitment. The mirrors of self-worth l was missing in my childhood often prevent me from seeing my worth to the world today. My fight is often simply to remember. And If you enjoyed...
read moreI’m a Nice Person Who Makes Mistakes
I said the wrong thing. I made the wrong choice. My fallible humanity spilled out onto someone and now I’m in the wrong. I messed up, I made a bad choice. And that makes me a nice person who makes mistakes. Nothing more. I’m a kind person who chooses unwisely sometimes. Those bad decisions should not go down on my permanent record and reflect my character as a bad person from hereon out. It does not serve anyone for me to hold onto and berate myself for my unwisely chosen words. If you choose to befriend, employ, or even marry the...
read moreSummer Simmers Along Slowly
Summer simmers along slowly. My daughter’s mood is much improved since our trip to RI. This sweet little thank you note she gave me while we were there says it all. She and her new little cat Sassy get each other wound up and scream and run through the house. The purple stitches will be removed tomorrow from her eye removal two weeks ago. We have a kinda rhythm going. Sleep and eat and do as we need to. I’ve been planning meals to make it easier on me with Eamon making one per week. Eamon has had his band over to practice weekly....
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